Monday, October 21, 2013

Lessons from The Better Story Project's "Beauty Matters"

We all have our own sob stories - mostly untold and unfinished - that we struggle to escape from. Like what I recounted here and there, I've been told I was far from attractive...by my own family. I have pango nose, uneven skin tone, dinikdik na luya for my feet, dark lips, flabs, crooked teeth, cystic acne, alambre hair, stretch marks and the list goes on. Growing up, I got exposed to television, fashion magazines, movies, romance novels, billboards - all of them bombarding me with the same reminder: That there's no Prince Charming and happily-ever-after destined for ugly ones like me. And I believed them. All of it.

Then one day, I just grew tired of it. I discovered the joys of travels and started beach hopping even if it'll make my skin darker. While in graduate school, I followed the example of kolehiyalas and began donning carefree outfits. While working in a call center, I eventually learned to laugh at myself and take myself less seriously.  Then I accepted Jesus Christ and I got convinced that me, too, is fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) 

So...why did a masterpiece like me even bother to attend The Better Story Project's "Beauty Matters" workshop? Simple. For someone who spent most of her life being pessimistic, I believe that self-acceptance is an ongoing journey. Plus, I can't afford to be complacent in my learning process. There's so much to absorb from other warriors and their battle scars. 

Lessons from "Beauty Matters"

Art by Crae Achacoso 
Obtained from this post

1.) "The world's version of beauty conveniently forgot the laws of gravity and mortality." - Ailene Ponce

Again, it's a reminder for us to ignore the socially-accepted - and, mind you, EVOLVING - standards of beauty. Skin wrinkles as we age, but what matters is what's beneath it. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath and search your heart and soul. There's kindness that flows inside you. Share it! 

2. What lasts? YOUR smile.

I remember walking out of the Smile For The World gallery with a huge smile in my face. Why did I feel so rejuvenated even if I hardly know the people in those portraits? Smiles, I realize, never fail to give off good vibes to the ones in the receiving end. Looking back, I've deprived a multitude of people of my smile just because I feel unpretty when my upper lip widen to show off my inflamed gums and/or my sungki. But then again, most of the compliments I received so far were all about how fun-loving and cheerful I am and how my rambunctious laughter proved to be contagious. See, nobody took notice about those flaws! It was just me and that critical voice in my head all along! (But, still, I had deep scaling done for my gums and had braces for my teeth for health reasons).

3. Don't put another woman down, especially a Filipina. Be generous with your compliments.

We spend so much time nitpicking others and it NEVER helps. It prolongs this vicious cycle of being harsh to other people and, in my opinion, being fault-finders or gossip mongers can make us too conscious about ourselves that we don't want to be talked about the same way or, worse, we forget to examine our own mistakes. 

Remember that the more we give, the more we get back. And to quote Ailene: "What blessing or curse are you giving out? And what will you take back?" So, it's important to compliment a colleague who doesn't seem to realize how charming she looks in skirts or remind a cousin that having backne doesn't make her less beautiful. Spread the conviction that we ARE beautiful! It'll make a huge difference.

Art by Crae Achacoso 
Obtained from this post

4. Real beauty means showing up.

Yes, there are moments when we feel that we're never enough and it's more comforting to lock ourselves up all day. But real beauty is knowing that nothing like a huge pimple or knee bruise can stop us from sharing our love and light to the world. 

In my opinion, it helps to know that we can't just stop at being pretty. We must aspire to be pretty creative and pretty smart, anything but merely pretty. 

5. Don't be scared of being beautiful. You ARE beautiful.

Beauty is not a gift entitled only to a selected few. Stop believing that some people happen to be idle and available nang naghasik nang kagandahan ang Diyos. Like what this video had elaborated, God is not fond of junk. He can't possibly create "factory defects". Just stop accepting what the world dictates as beautiful. Look at yourself in the mirror and utter a powerful affirmation about your beauty and your uniqueness. It will go a long way.

***

After Ailene shared her story, she invited us to do the same. I volunteered to narrate a story that probably deserves a separate blog entry. Haha! As I listened to the others, I felt inspired by ideas like Make Your Day Project, as discussed by Cindee, and "care package", as Aia described it. It's like a go signal for this little pay-it-forward project that I'm planning to do for Pinay Curvies. Can't wait to share it once it's finalized. 


Meet the beautiful girls! Wheeeeere's Waldo Lorna?
Photo also obtained from Better Story Project's fanpage

Bonus take-homes: postcard from Aia and GC from Manos Nail Lounge


I shall leave you with this clip that Ailene mentioned during the workshop. I suggest you look up the lyrics to this song like I did and reflect: Are we going to pass on our distorted and superficial definition of beauty to the next generation or are we going to start a comforting revolution instead?



14 comments:

  1. Hi! I was the girl in the next table (who went on about her hair) :D hahaha i wanted to tell you i really felt for the story you shared during the workshop because i've been through the same thing (but i was really shy to do so ;_;)

    hooray for curvy girls like us!

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    1. Yay! Nice to meet you! I'm so honored by your visit. :)

      Same story pala tayo. Apir! Curvy ka rin pala! Hope to meet you in our future events (Pinay Curvies). :)

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  2. Oh and the make your day project was from Cidee :)

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    1. Thanks for that! I updated my entry to name-drop and link back to Cidee. Mabuhay ka!

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  3. How inspirational, to want to keep learning and improving one's self. I am guilty of giving out compliments but only in my head, but I promise to make a concerted effort to actually say the words. Also, I'll check back for that story!

    Abi
    aka The Belated Bloomer

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    1. That's great to hear. Better Story Project holds monthly workshops and I think they'll talk about beauty again on November. I'll let you know.

      Yeah, I can't wait to launch that little project via Pinay Curvies. :)

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  4. We are unique and beautiful. I also have my flaws, but a smile really does wonders, not only for the giver, but also for the recepient as maybe it was the only bright spot in his or her day right? This project is really awesome, sending out positive vibes to everyone, making the world less cynical and jaded.

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    1. Glad to know that you agree! Apir! Kaya let's smile away! Sending you love and light as well! *hugs*

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  5. Hi, Cidee here. I just saw this article now and may I just say that it makes me really happy knowing that our tiny barkada project inspired you somehow. :) Shall be waiting for your little pay-it-forward project!

    Xx,
    Cidee

    PS, I do think you're beautiful. You're confident, gutsy, and daring. I think it makes a woman extra-beautiful. <3

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    1. I'll let you once it's finalized. Let's spread the good vibes!

      Awww. Your P.S. just made my day. Thank yoooou!

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  6. indeed! we are beautiful in our ways. the appreciation needs to start with ourselves.

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    1. Apir! I'm so glad to hear you embody self-love as well. Cheers!

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  7. we are pretty.pinay curvies are great^_^

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  8. Coincidentally, my iPod's on Shuffle and right now "Beauty from Pain" is playing. Kinda similar message as your post here. May soundtrack pa pagbabasa ko nito. Galing! :D

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