Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Surviving the 3-day juice feast was no guaranty about the success of the succeeding 1.5-day water fast. I feel I can take the deluge of juices that would enter my mouth, but I'm fearful of water. How strange for someone who subjected herself to water indulgence during the height of her sinusitis, right? Compared to juices, water feels so...plain.
DAY 4, GOOD FRIDAY
When I woke up that morning, I was alarmed to see how the color of my urine spoke of dehydration. I immediately resolved to drink at least 10 glasses of water within the day. Before reaching Prayer Mountain, I've already come to the decision NOT to take my antibiotics and antihistamine until it's time to break the fast and found no reason to bring fruits either. Doing so would just result to solid food consumption, defeating the purpose why I agreed to go on all-liquid fast for this Holy Week.
The morning worship + preaching was set to begin at 09:00, but our group made sure to be inside a few hours prior to that. We wanted to secure a vacant prayer cell for ourselves to be in deep dialogue with God. Besides, our hotel room stood NEXT to the kitchen, giving us an unsolicided invitation of what's to be served for breakfast.
I heard my stomach churn violently for the unwanted deprivation around past 10:00, but my mind remained focused and grateful for the pastor's reassuring reminders. I found strength from the conviction that I have begun to celebrate dependence on Him and, soon enough, obtain clarity of mind.
By noon, our group dashed back to the neighboring hotel outside the Prayer Mountain for some much-needed repose. Our airconditioned room was indeed our instant igloo against the punishing humidity that afternoon. I was the last to fall asleep in our party of three. I was having visions of delectable food again, but I have no recollection which food. When I woke up from the alarm, I wished I had longer slumber. How typical. Back to the Prayer Mountain we went.
The painful grumbles made a comeback around 17:00 while I was on my solitary moment, taking in all the soothing silence that surrounded me. I "chewed" on lukewarm water and found solace in supportive messages from friends and Waldo. That was probably the longest instance of protest that day, to be repeated later that evening around past 20:00.
Before the evening service commenced at 19:00, I was puzzled to see the staff assemble tables outside the main building. Aren't we supposed to break the fast until Saturday noon? What kind of mental challenge is this? Worse, the waft of fried tuyo made our animated conversation come into a screeching halt. We unanimously decided to escape and proceeded inside the building. That was delicious! Seriously, I was beginning to think I can't make it until the following day.
This self-doubt aggravated when I recognized guilt for being distracted to the pleasant smell of arroz caldo even before the preaching could officially end. To my surprise, the pastor invited us to come out and join the small feast that awaits us outside. It was really time to break the fast. I was momentarily convinced that I can still stretch this act of self-control further. When my friends averred they will join the meal outside, I felt my insides sing gleefully. It could use some warm soup!
Looking back, I'm relieved that I managed to fulfill this difficult mission, considering how indulgent I am. I know I lacked preparation, but it just goes to show how mental readiness plays a key role in this effort. Actually, 4 days of all-liquid fast is too short and I really have no right to feel like a superwoman after surviving it. Will I do it again? I'll give you a resouding yes. Anything for an opportunity to find Christ again.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Woke up about 2 hours before my alarm clock rings. Is that a sign of excitement for what lies ahead of me or what? Unlike Day 2, I woke up craving for more rest, but it didn't feel like dragging myself out of bed. One sight of my packed bag and I'm again reminded of my important meet-up with Him later.
DAY 3, MAUNDY THURSDAY
For the third time this week, I had smoothie from the nearby banchetto. This time, I ordered carrot smoothie. As usual, no sugar and no milk.
When Ate clarified if I were sure I don't want any sugar and milk with my smoothie and motioned the blender with difficulty, I suddenly realized that there are some things that juicers can achieve easily than blenders. It's too late to change my order.
While my breakfast buddies hungrily consumed their meals, I sipped my smoothie, "juiced" the carrot as if it would melt inside my mouth and spat out the tidbits. My throat didn't seem to welcome the tiny grains that made it inside. We wasted no time when they're done; we headed back to the office. They saw me make hurried stops to throw out the carrot tidbits inside my mouth.
The first half of today's shift was my busiest this workweek. Put a great amount of brain activity and unaligned amount of breakfast together and that would spell noisy tummy. Worse, I could feel last night's banapple smoothie wants to make a quick exit while I was here in the office. My mind thinks there's a better time and venue for it.
Yes, I was very hungry that I was starting to become envious of Ian's succulent lettuce and Lady's mouthwatering mushrooms. As a result, I didn't take my sweet time in drinking my 15-fruits juice. But I soon recovered and started "chewing" my juice. However, I had a pending task waiting for my return. Can't linger in the office pantry.
Inasmuch as I'd like to defer my sausage-making moment, I had to listen to my body. It was in great unease. I made a quick break in the office loo and did what I should had done earlier in the morning. You have no idea how quick it was. Not because I was scared that somebody else would enter and find out the stench, it's just that it didn't require much time compared to the usual quality-time I spend in the tiolet.
I have to conclude this entry right now even if it's not officially end of the day yet. I'm minutes away from doing my much-awaited trek to Antipolo and commence my water fasting. The past 2 days had been successful and this hunger I'm currently nursing is slightly making me anxious about the next 2 days. Please pray for me. Thank you. Bless your heart.
My brekky buddy, Van, happened to bring his car and offered to take me to Touch of Glory Prayer Mountain. After all, he's from Antipolo himself and it's hardly a bother to make a slight detour for me. I noticed I wasn't as energetic compared to my office pals Carmela, Donna and Tatat during the road trip. We made a stopover as Tatat needs to purchase some pasalubong for her family and I found myself drooling for sugar. Lots of it!
Luckily, I survived this test and found a buko vendor outside the bakery. The buko juice was placed in a plastic labo and, as Tatat advised, I should consume it right away. Coconut water tends to be corrosive and I might end up drinking the plastic as well if I don't hurry up. But try saying that to someone who's been used to slow drinking for the past 3 days. It was a struggle to guzzle it down, especially that it's far from being chilled. Thankfully, I managed to finish it. I'm just not sure if I drank plastic, too.
How did my 2-day water fasting go? To be continued...
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
You'd know it when you fell to a sweet slumber if you forgot to set your alarm clock the previous evening. The funny thing is, my eyes slowly pushed open shortly after someone placed a huge bowl of instant noodles in front of me in my dream. Then I discovered it's already 05:30AM, my new wake-up time, and I didn't feel any heaviness in spite of the fact that I yielded to Morpheus around midnight. I didn't feel starving or thirsty either.
The recollection of yesterday's success instantly brought a smile in my lips, hindering any negative thoughts about potential craving attacks today. Surviving the first day felt like earning a badge; I felt more convinced that Day 2 will be a breeze. With this realization, I said a thankful prayer.
And I skin-brushed again. For the first time since Sunday, I took pleasure in the slow strokes and felt as if there's no rush. Does it really mean I'm already stimulating my lymph nodes or is this a by-product of the juice feast?
DAY 2, WEDNESDAY
My usual breakfast buddies, Carmela, Van and their teammates, were nowhere to be found when I arrived. My batchmates Ian and Lady were craving for pan de sal for breakfast and they seemed unwilling to make a long walk. Ian had an urgent pricing task. So I went on a solitary walk along Eastwood Citywalk en route to the banchetto. It's fruit smoothie again for breakfast. It's just a question of what combination this time.
This somehow reminded me that I'm alone in this path. But I don't feel lonely or lost; I know this is a must-do preparation for my set-apart time with Him. He went on fasting for 40 days before, there's no way I can't rise above a 5-day fast. Do I feel weak? Hardly. I feel lighter and more attentive to my body's needs. And that's good news.
I was occupied with my deal when my teammate She surprised me with her quite overdue yet unncessary reward for me. She probably deferred this, considering how I've been a poster kid of respiratory discomfort for the past 2 weeks. My heart was touched with the thought, but I doubt my gratitude didn't reflect much in my face. I explained I'm on juice feast and I'll probably consume it until Easter Sunday.
My anacondas started to perform this cacophony of grumbles and growls before lunchtime. I actually brought a 15-fruit juice for lunch, but I wanted an energy boost for today. I bought buko juice downstairs and added spirulina powder.
As expected, Ian made me feel that I'm missing out on a lot and he even commented he finds my diet pitiful. Watching them made me miss the gestures involved in eating, but I didn't recognize any desire for solid food itself. Again, I was the last to finish my "meal" even if it felt I was guzzling my juice at the beginning. I was told 60% of digestion happens inside the mouth and we must chew our food for 20 seconds before swallowing. This juice feast is an excellent reminder about this lesson.
The workday was supposed to be concluded in the nearby badminton court. One of my colleagues suggested this earlier this week and I was quick to turn down the invitation. I've gone absent to this smash-out parties since I've had sinusitis mid-March and, considering this juice fast, I'm not confident I can handle it. Sweat is welcome, but my mind wasn't curious enough if my body will survive it.
Instead, I finally met up with Waldo for super early dinner. I crave for his support at this adjustment period and I'm aware I owe him apologies for being a monster girlfriend since the onset of my monthly period followed up by sinusitis and, now, the juice feast. My peace offering? Some sort of "royal treatment".
I asked him if he noticed any difference since I underwent this feast, like pallor, drastic energy loss or poor posture. He denied any signs of bad changes, but he realized how my right forearm slimmed down when he held it. I didn't weigh in before getting into juice feast, so I can't confirm this. Again, he told me I can do it and I completely believe him. This date unromantically concluded in the laundry shop and grocery. But, hey, I'm proud of how I remained collected in spite of the typically stifling atmosphere there.
When I got in the apartment, I busied myself with the laundry and pack-up for Prayer Mountain. Decisions, decisions! The soothing dry skin brushing earlier inspired me to do a repeat before I went for a poop (YAY!) and shower. Applying what I've learned from this source, I started from my feet and worked my way up in vigorous and counter-clockwise motion. I preferred this morning's brush.
It was already around 22:00 but I don't feel washed out or drowsy yet. I spent this time to draft this mushy blog entry until the body finally asked for repose by close to midnight. It was unbelievable that this juice feast allowed me to pen down my thoughts in great lengths for the past 2 days! Amazing!