WORLD PREMIERE: That Lacy Dress (Sort Of) / Overheard in the Mosh Pit OUTSIDE Cosmo Bachelor Bash 2012

It's the time of the year again when Carl and I primp and prettify ourselves for some voyeuristic adventure from a very distant vantage point and go home empty-handed. Do I sound bitter? Hell, no. Like I mentioned here, it doesn't hurt to ogle at attractive, scantily-clad men and hang out with a cool gal at the same time. Besides, it's another excuse to bring out a dress I was supposed to wear for a good friend's afternoon tea par-tey before she exchanged I do's waaay back in February. Thanks to the unsightly overlap of tanlines from this number from Zamboanga in July and that one from the past weekend in Coco Beach, I resolved to avoid any low-cut tops and finally world premiere this not-so-lacy dress.

To our dismay, this year's long queue (up until the gates of World Trade, mind you!) led us nowhere. Carl and I were already near the entrance door when someone issued a public apology that probably only 9.5 people heard. We gathered the venue can not accommodate any more people - regular and VIP guests alike. So what's the rationale behind the release of tickets to multitude of celebrities, media practitioners, VIPs and regular guests if they can't all fit in World Trade in the first place? How come no representative/s from Cosmopolitan joined the guards absorb and/or appease our words of pissdom? And, most importantly, how come some seemingly insiders promise all-access wrist band for the right price? Do I sound bitter? HELL, YEAH! I know I said it's not about the parade of those fine specimens, but I'd prefer a solitary slumber party in my own apartment over this hassle. Anytime! It's all about making the best use of my time. OUR time!

Nothing can cheer me up at this point! Not this, this, this or this!

Our unhappy feet (note: Carl slipped on these flats after the long queue)

Exhibit A: So near yet so far from the entrance/exit doors 

Exhibit B: The exit door that serves as entrance door for, uhm, last-minute all-access guests

Hearing the party inside made me want to march out of the place and feed the angry monster within me instead. However, Carl was still a portrait of desire for Kodak moments with the models. I don't have the heart to decline to her request to wait until the show is over and come inside to enjoy the leftovers. After all, the evening was all about spending quality time with her.

With my BFF Carl

Surprise! Surprise! There's Jo-Anne in the par-tey!

Yeah, the party's over

Egress mode na si Kuya. Wait lang!

 Is that you, Michael Scofield? Ah, no.

High school friend Clark Reyel, is that you?

Can't contain my kilegs over Wolverine!

With crushie John Spainhour

Why do I have a feeling there's no third time with John Spainhour?

With Eruption! Wee!

****

Overheard in the Mosh Pit OUTSIDE Cosmo Bachelor Bash 2012

Sure, this experience made us feel pissed and disappointed, but I can't help but appreciate how people's reactions mirror our sense of humor and, at times, feel sad at our tendency to take out our anger to innocent people (case in point: guards). Here are some of the statements I overheard while waiting for the miraculous reversal of that sorry-for-the-inconvenience announcement earlier that evening:

Galing pa ako ng Mindoro! Ang hirap magbiyahe pa-Maynila ha!

Galing pa ako ng Tawi Tawi!

Taga-Valenzuela pa kami ha!

Pag kita dibdib, pag maraming alahas, pinapapasok!

(to the guard) Sagana ka sa aircon ha!

(to the guard) Papasukin nyo na kami! Para makuha naman namin ang San Mig Light namin!

Di kayo papapasukin sa langit!

Pa-pa-tattoo nga ako! Para next year, madali akong makakapasok!

(to the guard) Kuya, kamukha mo si Enchong! En-chonggo!

(to the guard) Kuya, pag may lumabas, dapat may papasok!

VIP kami! V as in Bachelor!

(to the guard) Gutom ka na, Kuya! Umalis ka na dyan!

Di na kami bibili ng Cosmo!

(to the guard) Why were they (pertaining to two tall, well-dressed women) in? They don't have tickets! I have VIP tickets. Kararating lang nila. What's your name? (then to his friend) Uy, suportahan mo ako!

Sobrang dami nang lumabas, wala ba kayong habag?

Sana nag-duty na lang ako.

Mare, di na ito mauulit. Last year na natin 'to. - Carl

****

Outfit of the Day:

Grey dress with lace details

Big black belt from Forever 21

Black wedges from VNC

Spiral earrings

Black bag (gift)

Photos from Carl Tendenilla

Side-by-side with Spainhour design by Wini Layug

We've Got Male - Reynan Co

Reynan Co's "I Like Her Super Curvy"

Have you read the April issue of Cosmopolitan Philippines and leafed through page 82? It's probably the most uplifting psalm for Pinays gifted with curves and confidence to date. And I deem it necessary to make a tribute for the appreciative soul behind the article above before this month ends, just like how the mentioned magazine lauds scantily-clad men around this time of the year. Remember this?

Inasmuch as I would like to present my own Q&A with the author, I'm afraid the scanned version of this article would have to do for now. Per research with insider friends, Reynan Co proved to be a pseudonym and the publication heads can not divulge his identity to yours truly or to anyone else for that matter for the contributor's protection. How sad.

Reynan Co, mabuhay ka!

WORLD PREMIERE: That Mustard Green Dress

It's the time of the year again...when I get violently dragged to attend Cosmopolitan Bachelor Bash. To be accurate, I get smothered with repeated reminders to plot my leave ahead and plan my outfit as early as July. By first week of the following month, I already have my own ticket without lifting a finger.

It's quite funny how my best friend Carl started manifesting frenzy for this annual event when I've lost interest. I find it elitist that the readership is reduced to mere voyeurs while celebrities and media practitioners bask in front row and water gun access and, in spite of the thrilling kinky games and the smorgasbord of scantily-clad come-hither gods, I end up asking "That's it?!" each time the program comes to a close before midnight. Yep, I've swallowed a lot of ampalaya supplements in the past.

Most importantly, my masochistic craving for unattainable men eventually subsided, giving birth to the realization that, hey, love handles are sexy, too. Being with someone soft and cuddly is actually heaven on earth. But then again, try imposing that to Carl and her hormones and you'll find yourself in the receiving end of her piercing glare.

In spite of my indifference, I agreed to join her and busied myself in locating an outfit to take with me. That's what best friends are for, right? I'm sure she tolerated my rather incessant "Who's that?" when most models appeared on stage. Talk about being a showstopper. Besides, it doesn't hurt to ogle at attractive men and hang out with a cool gal at the same time.

Outfit:
Mustard green dress from an office seller
Tita Minda's sandals
Mum's Hello Kitty handbag


Cheers!


And the parade of hot men begins!


Jake Cuenca




Crushie alert! It's Aljur Abrenica!




Crushie alert! It's Anton del Rosario of the Azkals!




Can you find me in the dark?


Unhappy feet! We endured 2 hours in the queue alone!


Sandwich!


Aaaah long-haired guy!


***

Who wants a trip down the memory lane? Here are some snapshots with Carl during the past Cosmo Bachelor Bash events. Thanks to my participation in this benefit event in Vigan, I was in absentia last year.

Standing next to a first-timer attendee in 2008.


Come hell or knee injury, count us in!


Twogether again in 2009.

All photos by Carl Tendenilla.