We've Got (Fe)Male! - Post-Breakup Thoughts from Jona

I had received a heartwarming email earlier today and I'd like to share her story of strength in hopes that it would uplift you the same way it made me feel. With her permission, of course. 

Woman With a Book 1987 

by Fernando Botero 

***

Dear Lorna,

I want to share my story with you.

For the past years, I have been in a relationship where I conceal my real self to please my boyfriend. Being myself is not allowed, strict rules are implemented, and my opinions are not acknowledged.

He is 10 years older than me, and this gave him an impression that I cannot decide for myself. When we’re on a date, I have no power to choose what to eat nor what to wear. I am fat and he wanted me to be just like him so he can finally show his family how fit his girlfriend is. He never asked what I want or what I need; he just assumed his decisions would benefit me. Although I knew things between us are unusual, I never complained; after all, he is “older” than me. He knows what’s best for me. I felt inferior when I am with him but I can’t let go the relationship. Why? Because I love him and I was convinced that it’s all that matters.

Mujer Llorando

by Fernando Botero

4 years after, I met you, Lorna. You believe in yourself and you show self-love. That’s when I realized that I am not treated fairly, so I ended the relationship even when it hurts and even if it were still painful.

My life as a plus size Pinay is not all roses and cherries, especially in a society like ours where being curvy is not the norm. Meeting someone like you made me realize the importance of self acceptance. As an old saying goes, you must learn to love yourself first before you truly learn to love someone.

Thank you, Lorna. You are a blessing to me. I admire you for your courage to stand up and show the world that we are not less than valuable. You taught me to take care of myself, to love my body and see the beauty in me. Thank you for making me realize that I am still worthy of love and respect, for showing me that no matter what size and shape we are in, we still deserve to love and be loved. I hope you continue to inspire more people through your advocacy. God bless you and more power to your blog!

Love,

"Jona"