Real-Life Goddess: Asher Ann Cabangon

Have you ever met a stranger and felt sooo drawn to her? I'm sure you can relate.

I met this beautiful stranger in a pranic healing center and spent time talking about energy bodies. Today, we finally get to talk about our physical bodies! 

I would like you to meet my dear friend, Asher.

Lornadahl: How would you describe your personal fashion style?

Asher: Very simple and comfortable. I usually wear sleeveless, plain and dark-colored t-shirts, shorts and leggings. But I am now transitioning into wearing dresses since I find it comfortable and more formal.

Lornadahl: Which celebrities serve as your style icons?

Asher: Actually, I don't have one since I am happy with the way I dress up.

Lornadahl: How hard is it to get clothes that fit you? Any particular body part that makes shopping extra challenging?

Asher: OMG! So hard! I rarely buy new clothes but when I see something that I like, I definitely go for it. However, I usually have a hard time fitting them in my bust, arms and legs. Ang ending, I can't buy it na since it doesn't fit me and it really feels frustrating 'coz I looked like suman .

Lornadahl: That's sad. How about accessories? What's the best for tall women?

Asher: Hmmm...I think earrings. You can wear them without worrying that they won't fit your body. Also, it highlights your face especially when you tie up your hair.

Lornadahl: If you were to endorse a local clothing for big women, what would it be and why?

Asher: As I've said, I rarely buy new clothes so I don't usually have a local brand. But when it comes to sportswear, I recommend Decathlon since they have a variety of sizes that would fit me unlike our local brands.

Lornadahl: When you pick up a magazine or watch TV, do you see bodies that look like yours that aren't being desexualized, or used to signify laziness, ignorance or lack of self-control?

Asher: In magazines, NO! But now that social media is becoming a new platform for advertisements, YES! I am happy to see commercials and billboards that show plus size models! I really admire those companies that show the reality about our bodies especially women's.

Lornadahl: How do you deal with I'm-so-fat-and-ugly days?

Asher: I exercise or I eat ice cream! Either of the two, depending on my mood. Ha-Ha!

Lornadahl: Do you think a great number of Pinoy men appreciate big girls?

Asher: Not really. There may be some but most of them still like girls who have small waist, big boobs and butt. You can see it on social media. Men like and react more to sexy girls than big girls. 

Lornadahl: If you would appear on a billboard or magazine cover, how would you look like?

Asher: The way I am. No make-up, no accessories, wearing a nude color sando and shorts in a forest with waterfalls. Just like when Eve came to the world but not totally naked. Ha-Ha! Seriously, I just want to look natural, looking away.

Lornadahl: What's the secret behind your self-confidence and body acceptance?

Asher: My only secret is just to be happy the way I am. If you keep listening to the people around you, to lose weight or to refrain from overeating, you will end up being frustrated. It's YOUR BODY! You are the only one who has the right to decide what you want to do with it. So choose to be happy without listening to other people's opinions. 

Lornadahl: For most people, including myself, acceptance took a long while. Tell us how your journey went. Any defining moment, any influential person in your life that made it happen?

Asher: It took me 3 years before I fully accepted the new me. Not to brag, but I used to be one of those girls who were idolized during my teens. There were times that I was afraid to attend meet-ups or reunions 'coz I don't want to be the topic and end up getting embarrassed. I even stopped posting pictures on social media 'coz I was afraid that old friends will criticize me. 

My defining moment was when I went to Masasa Beach in Batangas with my friends and my mom. I used to wear bra and shorts whenever I go to the beach but I was really hesitant to wear the usual outfit that time. There were boys and they might compare me to my friends. My friends loved taking sexy pictures and, as #SquadGoals, they want to pose along with them. But I wasn't really comfortable with it since I'm big. As expected, I kept hearing people's comments like I am a balyena and the likes. Then, my mom took off her rash guard and had her photos taken with me. So I told myself, "My mom can do it, so how can't I? I don't care anymore what other people will say. I'm here at the beach to have fun and I won't let their body-shaming comments get into me!" So there, that was the defining moment for me.

Lornadahl: How did you discover pranic healing? Was it part of your self-love or body acceptance journey?

Asher: I discovered pranic healing through my mom. She made me attend the courses which were very helpful for my whole being. Pranic healing is an energy school conducting meditation and healing. You're right, it's a big part of my self-love journey. I understand myself even more! I learned to forgive myself and to give more love to people who continue to criticize me. Also to be more kind to myself and other people. It made me realize that inner beauty is more important than being beautiful only on the outside. 

Lornadahl: True! I recall being drawn to you because you project this positive aura and you have this infectious smile! Sana all! So, what is beautiful about being big?

Asher: People can easily recognize you! Sometimes people mistook me as an expectant mom and they allow me skip the long queues. Haha! Kidding aside, I think I became prettier and sexier with the curves that I have right now. 

Lornadahl: How do you respond to the argument that obesity is unhealthy?

Asher: Actually, this may vary to different people. There are people who have underlying medical conditions which is why they can't lose weight. There are some who have eating disorders who can't control themselves. And there are people who have genetically obtained their body types. Some people may be skinny but has more medical problems than those with bigger bodies. I'm just saying that we have no right to judge other people without knowing their story. Yes, obesity is unhealthy but we must consider some factors before we blame them for being obese or unhealthy.

Lornadahl: Do you worry that, when you talk about feeling of sexual attraction, people are repelled or disgusted by the size of your body/

Asher: Yes, it's so humiliating! Some even tease you of who can possibly endure the sight of your body!

Lornadahl: How do you feel if people stare at you? yell degrading stuff at you? Do you ever experience that?

Asher: I'm not really comfortable when people stare at me even during my skinny days, how much more now. I experienced people say degrading stuff, this is common in public transportation. Especially in jeepney drivers who force you to move so they can squeeze in more passengers.

Lornadahl: Do you ever confront people? What happens when you do?

Asher: Rarely. It's okay for close friends to tease me. If random people, it's not okay. Some apologized to me and let them feel sorry for what they have done. But I let it go when I feel that it was a sincere apology.

Lornadahl: What do fat people want to be called?

Asher: The way they prefer to be called. We should ask. In my case, I want to be called by my name.

Lornadahl: Does a big woman's self-appreciation and self-love root from the culture/environment she's accustomed to? What can you say about Filipinas and their self-appreciation?

Asher : Somehow. Even if you have a strong belief in yourself, there are times when you will feel down because of the negative comments you hear from other people, including your relatives.

To Filipinas out there, build your confidence. We cannot expect from other people that they will boost ours. Sometimes it's our fellow Filipinos who drag us down. Crab mentality is still an ongoing issue. So, be your own happiness.

Lornadahl: Some big girls are unaware that they're beautiful and sexy. What would you tell them?

Asher: Start finding your inner beauty. Being kind to yourself is the first step. Appreciate the small things about you. Keep on reminding yourself everyday that you are beautiful. What you perceive in yourself is what others will perceive in you. Stay positive and believe in yourself!

.

WORLD PREMIERE: That Blue Ruffled Dress

We're lucky to discover that there's an ongoing sale for plus size clothes (if it were mall-wide, I wasn't sure) in SM SouthMall last week. The first maternity-dress-for-now-corporate-dress-later that caught my eye? It's the plain red dress with ruffled design at the lower half from Jus Ur Size. Upon seeing me giving it a I'm-not-sure-if-I-should get-you look, my mum was quick to give her nod of approval when she saw the price tag: P450 only (originally P800+). 

It's a lovely dress, all right, but I doubt it'll look good on me and my close-to-flat rear. When I tried it on, I could sense the agreement about the dearth of curves over THERE from my mum's and husband's eyes. Kebs na!

Knowing that my baby bump will get bigger in the next 1-2 months, I asked the staff for a bigger size. But 3L looked quite lengthy at below my knees, so I ended up asking for 2L. Good thing it's made of stretchable fabric so I'm sure my little warrior won't express her disapproval with karate chops when I'm wearing it. 

And the final concern before I gave in: the color. This dress is available in red, purple and blue and, if you notice, I've worn too many reds and purples in this lifetime. You guessed it right. I reached for the blue one and waited for my mum and ninang to finish their style hunt (more on that later).

 

Pang-cover girl ba ang peg? 

(Sa Working Mom ata dapat hihi)

With this dress, I found the courage the join Metro Magazine's #selfie challenge! Oha!

Outfit of the Day:

Blue dress from Jus My Size

Blue flats from Solemate, SM Department Store

Photos by Adrian Gonzales.

***

Going back to my cliffhanger earlier, I take pride on the fact that I was the one who found the best dress for Mama! Among the many dresses she tried on, this particular dress brought a sparkle in her eyes. For me, it felt like I've returned the favor for buying me this and that illusion dress. Such an awesome feeling!

Mama said she'll wear this to the ballroom dancing event she'll attend this month. Cool!

WORLD PREMIERE: That Pink-And-Yellow Illusion Dress

So you've seen the 1 of 2 maternity-dresses-for-now-corporate-dresses-later in my prior entry. The other one is equally chic and fun, but never did I imagine I'll wear it when I exchange I do's! Maybe it's the superstition about black dresses on wedding day that made me initially want to avoid it, but me and my baby bump can't fit in this peplum dress anymore.  So I gave in and opted for this pink-and-yellow illusion dress. I'll just make sure to wear something all-white for our Church wedding, yes?

Sneak peek!

This dress had me at that little cut in the chest area. It's seductive without even showing my cleavage at all! Can't wait to wear it to the office! 

Mama actually wanted me to wear my dark blue flats for this dress. But I argued it's better to wear something neutral instead. It felt too Technicolor kasi. How about you, what pair of shoes would you wear for this lovely dress?

Outfit of the Day:

Dress from Divisoria

Snakeskin clutch bag from Suiteblanco

Earrings and bracelet from Mama

White lacey flats from Solemate, SM Department Store

Photos by Waldo Pan.

WORLD PREMIERE: That Black-And-White Illusion Dress + Baby Bump

I've said this once and I'll say it again - my mum had been greatly influential with my fashion sense. Most of the time, I'm snatching stuff from her closet or she'd style me, like what happened here. 

When we found out that I'm already carrying a 6-month-old baby girl around end of March (yeah, this story probably deserves a separate entry!), it was my mother who immediately acted on this fashion emergency. Actually, I've wanted to squeeze in a visit in ukay ukay shops in my hectic schedule, but my friend Yvie dissuaded me due to exposure to dirt and bacteria. So Mama spearheaded the spring cleaning and - voila! - I have instant maternity dresses and bestidas straight from her baul. But that didn't stop her; she still went to Divisoria to scour for more maternity-dresses-for-now-corporate-dresses-later.

I must admit I was impressed with her 2 purchases! Although this black-and-white illusion dress pretty much reminded me of this who-wore-it-better meme, I took delight in its effortlessly fabulous feel! My friends even told me, "Donyang-donya ang peg!" upon seeing me.

Speaking of donyang-donya, I left my usual dangling earrings at home and grabbed my mother's regal-looking clip-on earrings. And believe it or not, I traded my usually huuuuge shoulder bag with something black and light from mum. In short, that overused white lacey flats is the only thing in this ensemble that I own haha! I was thinking sandals like this would look great on this dress, but I've been reaaaaally lazy to shop for myself. Someday, after childbirth, I'd like to pair it with pumps like this! But for now, I'm a slave for comfort. (Lagi naman, diba? Haha!)

 

Lovin' the earrings, hatin' the dark neck! 

Of course, this calls for a close-up shot of the earrings. But forgive me for the exposure of my unsightly neck and nape. That, I hope, will disappear after I give birth to my little body image warrior.

Outfit of the Day:

  Illusion dress from Divisoria

Earrings, bracelet and bag from Mama

White flats from Solemate, SM Department Store

Photos by Carl Tendenilla.

Pole Dancing Gear For Plus Size Women

It's a not-so-secret dream of mine to unleash my inner siren on the pole. When I first met makeup artist Azaza Rodriguez, I got so inspired how she radiated passion for pole dancing and how she disproves the notion that fat women can't do it. Her energies are simply contagious!

Up to now, I haven't acted on this desire to take up pole dancing class. Well, there are realities like proximity to my residence and/or workplace, budget constraints and practice clothes. See, looking for pole dancing gear can be a real challenge for plus size women. Since this workout paves the way for strength, flexibility and grace, any aspiring pole dancer need practice clothes that fit well, feel comfortable and look chic at the same time. If it’s too tight, you can’t move freely and, worse, get conscious of your “muffin top”. If it’s too loose, you end up showing your underwear. But we all know that most outfit brands cater to smaller cup sizes and waistlines.

When she started pole dancing, Azaza showed up in class wearing the ever staple t-shirt and cycling shorts. As she progressed in pole dancing, she decided to let go of the sleeves and pant legs for the ideal skin-to-pole contact. She then opted for sports bra from Sassa, but her chest needed maximum support during the routines.

Emee Macabales is fortunate to fit in XL-sized sports bras from local brands like Sassa, Body Mix, So-En and foreign ones like Forever21 and Nike. However, finding pole shorts or booty shorts proved to be more challenging. Most of her purchases from Coco Cabana from SM Department Store and Eskina were found by luck. Sometimes, she had to resort to high-waisted or board shorts-looking bottoms.

Both Azaza and Emee were happy to discover tankini bottoms and side-string shorts. With its adjustable strings and breathable fabric, they can execute spins, inverts and other moves with ease.

                               Azaza in action! Stellar on Broadway photo by Shane Bellare.

Singer/songwriter/plus size model Kat Lopez Cansing was glad to find this pole shorts from online shop beamaz1ng. She raves how it fits her perfectly and how it prevents the unsightly “camel toe”.

For mother-of-two Nics, she had her share of alterations for sports bra from Everlast and 168 as well as pole shorts from Body Music and Sassa for a better fit. Eventually, she had her fitness gears custom-made since she prefers her pole shorts spandex and garter-free. This may sound like an expensive option, but she finds it more satisfactory as she gets to choose the color and design. Also, she wears stirrup leg warmers to relax her leg muscles during warm-ups and conditioning.

Photos from Nics

Here's hoping fitness brands and aspiring plus size brands alike would take notice of our consideration.

***

This entry appeared on ThePOC.net's Beauty & Fashion section. Check it out here. 

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WORLD PREMIERE: That Bejeweled Skull Blouse + Crumpled Leggings

How I love this skull blouse that I found inside my closet one weekend! Turns out my mum had a successful trip to an ukay ukay shop (something she learned from me, yay!) and she found this top to be too loose for her. Who wouldn't be willing to take it, right?

When I was about to leave home for work yesterday, she gave me a disapproving look of my all-black ensemble and handed me a better pair of leggings from her own closet. I initially mistook it as curtains due to its crumpled fabric, but later on realized its feminine appeal gave a cool contrast to my punk rock-inspired top. 

Just like my mum, I felt it's kinda loose, lengthy and unflattering. But I really had to leave for work and I had no time to rummage for other outfits. To my surprise, I received a lot of compliments from my colleagues for this awesome look. Can't wait to wear it again!

What I enjoyed the most about this outfit? The fact that my mudra actually styled me. She stopped doing so since I went to college and I must admit I somehow missed it. Just a little bit. 

Wearing stuff from my mum's closet (except lace flats)

Outfit of the Day:

Bejeweled skull blouse from ukay ukay

Crumpled leggings from mum

Lace flats from Solemate (SM) 

Do-It-Yourself Plus Size Crop Tops

I've been obsessing about crop tops the moment I saw this and that! I think that I can pull it off, but I wasn't sure where to get one. Some of the ones I found in Forever 21 won't fit my twins and my budget. And when I finally got this crop top and matching skirt from Erzullie, I had to postpone the much-awaited world premiere until I get my dream boots customized. Nope, this does NOT count as world premiere haha!

For this assignment for POC.net, (Click it, share it!) I decided to ask for Chiara Causaren's expertise on how to create crop tops in the comfort of our own homes. Her old-shirt-noon-crop-top-ngayon posts always never fail to amaze me! Does it take a fashion designer to do it? As long as you can imagine your creation and determine how cropped and flirty it will be, you are good as a pro. Do we need to sew? It will depend on the fabric, but cottony and stretchy ones will curl up nicely even without doing so.

So, let us show you how to chop away!

Level 1: Easy!

You can make a crop top out of old leggings!

1.) Fold your leggings sideways in a flat surface. This will ensure symmetry when you're about to cut it.

2.) Cut a half-circle between the leg sleeves (pundyo) to create the neck hole. The wider the cut, the lower the neckline will be.

3.) Stretch the fabric to keep it from fraying.

4.) Try it on!

You can make a front-tie crop top from an old shirt!

1.) Mark a line on where you want to cut. You may mark a bit longer to have a room for error.

2.) Lay your shirt sideways on a flat surface.

3.) Cut the lower back part up to the line you drew before.

4.) Cut until the middle of the shirt then cut diagonally.

5.) Cut the uneven fabric into half.

6.) Flip it over and tie both ends.

7.) Wear it and flaunt those curves!

Level 2: Moderately difficult, but feasible!

You can make a crop tieback top out of an old shirt!

1.) Lay out your top sideways on a flat surface.

2.) Cut the middle of the neckline up to the bottom.

3.) Cut the lower end at the back, up to the preferred length.

4.) Use the removed part at the back as an extension in the front. Sew it together.

5.) Put it on and tie the loops at the rear!

Level 3: Difficult!

You can make a knotted crop top out of an old shirt!

1.) Cut both sides of the shirt vertically up to the preferred length.

2.) Cut tiny strands all the way up to the middle so the knot design will fall below the bust. Make sure you have strands in even number to make the knotting easy.

3.) Since the t-shirt hems typically curl up once cut, pull them to make it easier to knot.

4.) Knot the strands together in twos. Continue making knotted rows until the bottom to create diamond-shaped holes.

5.) Cut off excess fabrics.

6.) Voila! You're now ready to make heads turn!

Now you’re all set to make your own. It’s important that you take note of the following:

1.) Crop tops are for everyBODY! Whatever body frame you are in, you will look fabulous in it!

2.) If you can’t decide how much of the hem you can chop, the suggested length is about 1-2 inches from the bustline.

3.) If you realized you’ve cut more than you intended to and you’re not comfortable with the amount of skin exposure, pair your crop top with high-waisted shorts, skirts or pants.

4.) Make sure to wear good-fitting undergarments.

5.) Compliment your look with a great smile and have fun in it!

***

You think you still need more crop top inspiration? Let me leave you with other Pinay curvies who rock this look. Hot, hot, hot!

L-R: Pasha, Chiara & Nina
Pasha's photo taken from Erzullie, Chiara's & Nina's photos from their timeline and blog, respectively.

Bilbiling Mandaluyong 2014

I've been wanting to watch the annual Bilbiling Mandaluyong beauty pageant since I interviewed Leslie Ann Canlas, the title holder back in 2011. I planned to attend the following year, but I got swamped with work and ended up having this last-minute sole searching adventure. As a result, I found it doubly hard to get up from bed that afternoon. Good thing, I spotted this tweet and got reminded of my dream to watch this beauty pageant live. What's more, I found fellow willing audience in my former colleagues when I posted my inquiry about the event whereabouts! Yay!

We were told that the venue can get too crowded, so we aimed to be first in line. At 05:20pm, the gym was rather empty and we had the luxury to choose our seats. Since the bleachers were divided into baranggays, we, as mere outsiders, were hoping we won't get thrown out or something. The show was supposed to start at 07:00pm, but the judges started arriving around 08:40pm! 

With my friends and fellow early birds Ivy and Chad (before the event marshalls confiscated the balloons and tarps)

When the candidates started rocking the stage at 09:00pm, I found my energy again and clapped away. It was such an awesome feeling to see 27 plus size Pinays in midriff-baring tops (not because they're going to step on the timbangan ng bayan) with proud smiles in their faces. Seriously, I felt my tears well up!

The 27 Bilbiling Mandaluyong 2014 candidates

The crowd's reaction was wild and deafening. At first, I was determined to know if it were cheers or jeers. From my vantage point, it was easy to tell. But halfway the program, I reminded myself that I went the distance to enjoy the moment, to support fellow body love advocates, NOT to allow the laughs get into me. But somehow it did. We're still far from becoming an accepting, non-judgmental nation! 

Still, I can't ignore the possibility that events like this may serve as springboard for social change. We can't expect other people to accept and laud people like us right away, but exposure to belly rolls, stretch marks, cellulites and other "flaws" could go a long way. And I intend to patiently sit and watch for this to come into fruition. 

Jampacked crowd! Not a sight for the claustrophobic.

The talent portion would have to be my second favorite! Sadly, there were candidates who conformed to the notions about us (ex. making lechon references in their dance number, having low-energy performance). But it was a delight to see a candidate who shook her booty very well for her own take of gimme gimme, candidates who can give showgirls a run for their money for the amount of lifting and flying executed and a candidate with sing-and-dance power when everyone else grooved to the music. You can't blame me here; fat women are known to be amazing singers. Look at Adele, Radha, Janice Javier, Frenchie Dy and so many others!

Speaking of amazing singers, I'd have to say THIS is my favorite part! Hearing my childhood hero sing my favorite song back in the days! It was so surreal I can't hold my camphone still. 

THE Manilyn Reynes in the house! Be still, my heart! 

I must admit I was kinda disappointed with the long gown competition. I was hoping there will be 27 different designs that will somehow give us a reflection of each candidate's personality or 27 ways to flaunt those curves. But they all ended up wearing the same design (or so it appears to me) in different colors. Plus, there was this candidate who, during her turn to ramp, flashed an apple out of her gown. Yeah, another lechon reference. If she were trying to be hilarious, sorry, but I don't find it an uplifting representation of us. I mean, people calling us names is a reflection of who they are, but reinforcing or allowing them to call us names during a body-positive event is another. Or perhaps I'm being sensitive about it. Sorry if I didn't get the humor.

It was a relief that the question-and-answer portion attempted to extract bits and pieces from the candidates' personal lives, views and journey to acceptance. I felt - and I still do -proud and happy that these girls know their worth and they found a good venue to shout it out to the world. 

And the winners are...

Congratulations to all the winners! In fact, there were so many special awards and cool prizes, I didn't get to track them all. But I recall that, if the Top 5 winners, get to lose weight just in time for the next year's coronation, they'll receive extra P50,000 in cash. And the organizers take pride in offering this even before the Biggest Loser did. Last year's beauty queens and their weight loss story didn't get airtime, so I can only guess it wasn't part of the programme.

Sorry, but this slim-down prize contradicts to their objective to celebrate curves. Body mass index (BMI) doesn't equate to fitness and neither is wellness restricted to physical aspect alone. In my humble opinion, being happy with oneself is more important than being conscious about the figures. Besides, being happy leads to finding out what's best for your body and how to achieve it. Thank you! *waves right hand like a beauty queen*

In case you missed this event, I shall leave you with this clip that sums up the beauty contest. Feel free to share what you think. 

WORLD PREMIERE: That Striped Cropped Top

It's the time of the year for back-to-back parties! Although the Kapamilya Network had cancelled our company-wide Christmas party to continue our relief operations for the Yolanda survivors, I was lucky enough to be invited to 2 department parties before we go on vacation.

Now that Studio 23 is signing off, let's par-tey hard!

My best friend DJ tagged me along last night for Studio 23's Creative On-Air party. We're supposed to show up as a character in one of the channel's shows (ex. WWE, Gag U, CSI, Desperate Housewives, Asia's Next Top Model, among others). Sure, it was tempting to come as Emma Swan but it was too...easy. In fact, there was only one character in my mind. See, I've always been flattered each time DJ says Callie Torres reminds her of me. She embodies curves plus confidence onscreen and I feel she's equally inspiring in real life. Ang haba ng hair ko! Although I still haven't gone beyond Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy to call myself a fan, I truly find her character and love stories interesting. She had me at allegedly NOT washing her hands after taking a pee. 

Sara Ramirez as Callie Torres...and me as Callie Torres. Convincing ba? Haha!

Something tells me you're violently shaking your head at this instant. Even if I got the professional look covered. On that note, I'd like to give credit to DJ for borrowing her aunt's lab gown and scrub pants. We even had a little debate in the comfort room as I wanted to world premiere Erzullie's striped cropped top and matching skirt underneath the lab gown. But she insisted that I should use the scrub pants to look clinical instead. Since I paired it with a cropped top, I opted for the high-waist look. Aaaaand moments like this make me miss my digipermed hair. With it, I'd somehow look close to Callie Torres. Chos! 

Outfit of the Day:

Lab gown from DJ's aunt/my dentist

Scrub pants from DJ's aunt/my dentist

Striped cropped top from Erzullie

Stethoscope from Mama

Lacey flats from Solemate

***

It is not right to conclude this little entry without showing you who else showed up in the party. Are you ready to laugh hard until your stomach hurt, Kabarkada? 

Some people don't need introduction. Can you name them?

Love their costumes!

Photos by DJ San Jose.