Why I'm Rooting for Nadine Lustre

When my fellow plus size women and/or post-pregnancy mums get bashed for wearing swimsuits in the beach, it is always initially infuriating. Then I calm down and remind myself that most people are still not ready. But when the likes of Nadine Lustre gets a seemingly endless round of nasty remarks for doing so, I can't help but feel appalled and sad for them. So who are the select ones 'allowed' to be seen donning a bikini? Are we talking about a small fraction of the world population? That's nuts.

Some of Nadine Lustre's post about her recent getaway

[Seeing these actually makes me wanna run to the beach, too.]

And all keyboard warriors unite to find faults in her body and her bikini. 

Photo lifted from Google Images.

Just like how Boy Abunda reacted to these photos, I find Nadine Lustre sexy...in a holistic way. I like how she often smiles and how she makes my bungisngis self want to laugh along with her. Her hair is beautiful and I like how she seems to prefer it tied up in a ponytail when she's off-duty. I appreciate her morena skin (and I hope she keeps it, in spite of this). And her eyes! And her clavicle! And her legs! To put it simply, I find her beautiful and yet very relatable. So why criticize her for having stretch marks, baby fats, unflattering bra and God knows what else when you can most likely see the same thing/s on your body? And why look down on her as if having Pinay attributes is something to be ashamed of?

In the book Team Real, Nadine Lustre admits she finds herself ordinary-looking and even went on naming her flaws. The thing is, she embraces her body - assets or imperfections alike. For someone who has a longer list of so-called 'factory defects' and probably longer history of body-shaming and self-doubt, I find it truly mature for a 22-year-old to embody self-acceptance. It took me longer to fully love and celebrate my own, you know.

Now let's go beyond the physical. I've seen a million behind-the-scene clips, I've watched her in press cons and I've seen her in the flesh once and and I can say that there's more to love about this woman. 

 Let's hear it from this guy. 

Now let's hear it from Ms. Personality herself.

You gotta love this girl. Simple pero rock. There's a lot of testimonials saying how independent, down-to-earth, accommodating and warm she is. On- and off-cam, mind you. They say she'll drive herself to work and carry her own stuff to the set. She can't say no to requests for photo opps. And I could just imagine how she can light up the entire room when she walks in. By now, you've probably seen photos of how involved she is in home renovations or household chores. In this day and age wherein self-entitlement somehow becomes more common than common sense, I consider this a welcome change. 

Plus I find her really smart (watch her interviews and you'll know what I mean) and talented. I like the quality of her singing voice, her comic timing and I'm particularly impressed with her photography and editing skills. Seriously, I can hardly wait for the follow-up music video to this! Much respect for stars with behind-the-cam aspirations, too. Fans calling her a "game changer" must be right; she's truly someone tomorrow's generations could emulate. 

But, wait. There's more! Nadine Lustre sometimes explodes...and she's not scared to express it. If it were true that talo ang pikon, then she's probably not frightened to lose. How fierce! For me, it's always better to be honest if you're hurt or pissed off than give everyone a false impression. She's as real as it gets and, if it were true that everything she does is merely publicity stunts, I'm sure she'll eventually get tired of being someone she's not. And it's OK if you don't share my opinion.

One of her 'patola' moments...that ironically made me appreciate her more.

I've read so many demeaning comments directed to her in so many who-wore-it-better polls and showbiz articles and I'm actually shocked they never run out of negative things to say. This lady hardly deserves it! Sure, some of her poses look kinda awkward and some of her portrayals calls for improvement, but I choose to appreciate her for who she is and I refuse to compare or associate her with somebody else. I choose to be inspired by how she reminds us that beauty and sexiness can't be tied to our flesh alone. I choose to laud her for giving her best now and for aiming to be a better artist tomorrow. I choose to look forward to the days she'll remain grounded while being able to entertain us in a different level and at the same time motivate us plain Janes and 'pangets' that we can reach our dreams, too. That's why I'm rooting for her, not just for FHM or any award-giving bodies. I'm rooting for her success in all aspects in life. Achieve na achieve!

And for the bashers, I don't expect this short blog entry will make you change your minds about Nadine Lustre. But I appeal for you all to watch your thoughts and be more careful in judging others. After all, your hurtful words reflect more about you - your background, your issues, etc. Let's just agree to disagree and refrain from spreading negativity. And if you don't like what you see on TV and billboards, then just look away. Stop the hate!

Spread love!

Body Gossip's #BodyLove Flashmob

Why did I just learn about Body Gossip's #BodyLove Flashmob this week? Had I learned about this earlier, I would have helped organized the same thing here in Manila.  

This positive body image campaign will be held tomorrow, June 28th, at 13:00 in London. Attendees are expected to bring a heart-shaped paper which shows their favorite body part. This peaceful protest against oppressive messages we are constantly bombarded with will run for 3 minutes. Aside from the designated venue, teenagers/students all throughout the nation will be gathered in their respective schools to express their support. I'm already dabbing the corner of my tearful eyes just by imagining it. 

I explained this campaign to my boyfriend last night over dinner. I told him I'll write down "my legs" as an answer. I know they house a couple of battle scars and visible varicose veins but I love how smooth they look and feel. I may have weak knees, but I love how my legs allow me to do long walks - something that I love doing. I love 'em just the way it is. 

But he felt I should write down "my boobs" too. Of course! If there's any body part most people would remember me for, it would have to be my mammary glands! My twins even earned names - Suzy and Geno (probably because Suzy seems like more discreet for suso). I've shared how they felt more like a burden than assets here, but I'd have to agree. I love them! 

Since I can't fly to London tomorrow to physically participate in the flashmob, I decided to offer online support. Here's my tweet and my fanpage post. And I'm hoping this little post would encourage fellow Pinay curvies to do the same. Let's remind everyone that our bodies are beautiful, too! 

So if you're interested to show your body love, just send me an email to Lornadahl.Campilan@gmail.com so I can forward the heart file. 

I love my body!!!

EDIT: The following day, I'm grateful my friends Shiela and Cleo were willing to show their support, too. 

L-R: Shiela, birthday girl Cleo and myself

GIRLTALK: Everything Between Obesity and Orgasms

Even before this research finding got published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy in May 2011, we probably already heard of news and testimonies stating fat sex is not as satisfactory as..uhm..."normal" sex. It got me thinking if there's any truth to these seemingly widely-accepted perceptions. So, I decided I find the experts with the following qualifications 1.) those who can compare the difference in fat sex and whatever-you-call-the-opposite; and 2.) those who will be honest about their sexual experiences.

Luckily for me, I have 2 bestest friends who can enlighten me about my research questions. So, it's Lakapati and Grace today; then probably Rebecca Jane Weinstein tomorrow!

Meet the Triumvirate: Lornadahl, Lakapati and Grace

Taken during Lakapati's Wedding in December 2010

Lornadahl: You've moved weight divisions. How did you do it and what for?
Lakapati: I've moved from being okay to overweight to slightly overweight and still losing weight with lots of ways over the the last 6 years, most of which are temporary and unsustainable (i.e. diet pills, cigarettes and not eating, etc.) but what is working and sustainable is overhauling my perspective on health in general.

I realized the holistic approach (mind, body, soul, spirit) is the only way to go. I quit all my addictions--smoking and food (read Confessions of an Ex-Smoker and I Quit Smoking...Now What? to know more about her journey); I commissioned the services of an integrative doctor to help me detox; now being raw vegan from someone who just ate less meat (pork-free since 2008) and more organic vegetables; rooting in faith and practicing charity with other belief systems which differ from my own; exercising more by developing routines through learning Kali and yoga, and rebounding (this I still need to be more disciplined). It's an ongoing and continuous journey. I did for no one else but myself and I do it in my own pace.

Meet Lakapati, 70 pounds lighter after her wedding

Lornadahl: How did faith partake in this journey?
Lakapati:  Faith became a very intrinsic and essential part of the journey. Everything else is immaterial without proper grounding in faith. I can make all these changes but without a purpose aside from superficiality. Only through faith can one understand what one person stands for and understand his or her life's purpose. I now understand that I want to be healthier because I need to live longer. Why live longer? Because I have to be a great example of a life well lived reflecting the love and grace I received through the years hoping to impact as many people as I can. Without faith, I don't think I'll even conceive of such thoughts; I'll be nothing but a ship without an anchor.

Lornadahl: What's rebounding?
Lakapati: Rebounding is the act of jumping on a rebounder (small trampoline).

Rebounding

Photo nabbed from this website

Lornadahl: How about you, Grace? How did you manage to lose excess pounds and for what purpose?
Grace: The issue on weight began early in my life as I was an obese kid as soon as I turned twelve. I shed pounds significantly during high school when I played and competed for volleyball, then gained weight again when I entered college, lost weight again unhealthily through diet pills and crash diet bordering on starvation. It was losing and gaining then losing for no reason back then, except during college when I was doing it for vanity purposes. It was only after school when I slowly paid attention to it. I gained more weight than I ever gained my whole childhood and college years put together when I started working for media. I was eating too much, smoking heavily, drinking too much. It went on to my next jobs and I was really tipping the scale. My turning point was 2008 when my physician diagnosed me for something deeply connected to my lifestyle, which, if left unchanged, will cause me several cysts and possibly cancer.

From 2008 to present, I lost a total of 70 pounds. How? By changing the way I view health and being 'fit'. I'm still losing weight gradually - in a healthy and sustainable way now. I realised my views on attractiveness, fitness and health are mostly wrong. It's not about the figures on the scale, it's about looking at yourself as a wholistic being - mind, body and soul connected. When you begin to plant the desire to take care of your soul, then you start with the body.

[Smiling] Grace Today

The weight loss is a "side effect" of the inner health you practice. All of us may be doing the same workout routines but with different intentions in mind. The intention is not to flaunt, but to work on balance from inside out. Motive colors everything.

After the episode with my doctor, I altered my lifestyle. I adopted a moving lifestyle: stairs instead of lifts, walking instead of cabs, I started practicing yoga. And when you start yoga,  everything shifts. You pay attention to what you eat. I continued being vegetarian but with a different mindset so I started eating healthier and I started meditating. A changed mindset is the only sustainable way to being healthy. Break the old views, have a fresh and guided look at health and yourself as a whole, and everything follows.

Grace during the recently concluded Global Mala Yoga 2012

Lornadahl: Did faith partake in your journey, too?
Grace: I always have faith that any person already know what to do in life, all s/he has to do is to remember it. We have this deep disconnect with our own selves and we forgot our natural state. We have a lot of re-learning to do. It is natural for us to honor ourselves, this is where everything begins, we honor ourselves, we honor others, our planet. It's really simple and nothing supernatural or religious about it. Everything in this earth is connected and taking care of ourselves is our moral duty. My faith has everything to do in this journey.

In yoga, the first thing my teachers taught me is grounding. No matter how ugly you look in a pose, keep grounded no matter what. My faith is my grounding in all these changes I made. In everything you do for yourself, if they come from a deep true intention, everything moves towards that goal. Everything falls in its place ultimately.

Lornadahl: Wow, your stories inspire me. In case you're not yet aware, your examples affected how I treat my own body, too. I'd say I feel better now. Would you agree that obese people find it hard(er) to achieve orgasm? Can you compare your sexual experiences in term sof the big O when you were still obese and now that you've lost weight?
Lakapati: Basing it from my experience, no. Challenges with orgasm are rooted in more complex reasons rather than excess body weight. Being overweight or weighing less had nothing to do with my experience. In hindsight, I only had problems with reaching orgasm when I don't feel like doing it, whenever I'm very stressed and when I know deep inside I am doing it for the wrong reasons. Generally speaking, outside of that, it's all good. There is no difference between the big O then and the big O now aside from the fact that I'm doing it now with my husband. Heaven on earth.
Grace: I don't think this is accurate since sexual problems are caused by several other factors, such as hormonal conditions. Although obesity is usually linked to unhealthy lifestyle and overall, the quality of lifestyle (or health) affects a person's ability to orgasm. Mental states like stress, for example.

STRESS!

Photo nabbed from this site.

Lornadahl: Ok, you named stress, wrong reasons and hormonal conditions. How about YOUR partners? Is that a major factor, too? Lakapati, I remember how you used to date this jerk who asked you to lose weight. Then there's Grace's ex's abstinence for non-spiritual reasons. Does your partner's perception of your body play a role in achieving orgasms? Do you feel desexualized at times?
Lakapati: In the past, yes, it was a concern. I definitely stopped having sex altogether, even right at the middle of it. If my partner feels I have to lose weight for his enjoyment, then he does not "deserve" to do it with me.
Lornadahl: I suppose this "requirement" contributed to the break-up?
Lakapati: Goes without saying. And his non-payment of a P20,000 loan sealed the deal.

Grace: Personally they don't affect much. My own perception and my own view of my body image have more effect.
Lornadahl: But it still affected you somehow, right? I think there will be moments it helps that your partner validates your own appreciation of your body image. Would you agree?
Grace: Yes, I would agree, for although orgasm is still possible, the tendency of not having an appreciative partner is to find other expressions of these sexual energies (somewhere, in other activities or other partners). This, I think, lowers the quality of the whole experience. Though strictly speaking, weight and partner's perception do not directly impact the ability to orgasm.
Lakapati: To add to what I said earlier, although it is a PLUS to have my partner(s) love how my body looks, it is nothing but a bonus. I know I am beautiful in more ways than one, the only opinion that really counts is mine. The rest either complements or disagrees. And I tend to believe that women who fail to orgasm under these circumstances are more often women who lack self-esteem and/or do not know how to orgasm. If you don't accept yourself, there's no way you are going to orgasm.

Lakapati: "I know I am beautiful in more ways than one..."

In my estimation, this Lakapati's sexiest candid photo to date

Lornadahl: Do you ladies think men have body issues, too? Or are they good at concealing them?
Grace: Yes, they have. Not very good in concealing as well. If you go to gym, most of the people you see around are men. Almost all men I know want to remove their flabs, develop their upper body and triceps, they want strong leg muscles, they like expensive perfume or nice hair. Basically we're both in equal footing with men in terms of wanting to have good body image. The only difference is the "perfect" image educated to us as to what makes a "perfect" man and woman.
Lakapati: Men have body issues and, to add to what Grace said, a lot of men do compensate with "overdoing" a ton of things to hide their insecurity which highlights their personal body image concern(s). It's ludicrous. Men try to hide it by developing a huge ego as cover up.

Do men have body image issues, too?

Photo lifted here.

Lornadahl: Of course, that's a huge turn-off, right? Do you think a woman is also supposed to boost her partner's ego underneath the sheets?
Lakapati: It is a turn off especially if the guy tries too hard by saying he's "all that" and more. Just like the guy you interviewed from Facebook. A woman is NOT supposed to boost her partner's ego underneath the sheets or vice versa. If people desire flattery and ego blow-up from lovemaking then really, it can't be called lovemaking, it becomes a trough where horses/pigs feed from.

To be continued...