Real-Life Goddess: Asher Ann Cabangon

Have you ever met a stranger and felt sooo drawn to her? I'm sure you can relate.

I met this beautiful stranger in a pranic healing center and spent time talking about energy bodies. Today, we finally get to talk about our physical bodies! 

I would like you to meet my dear friend, Asher.

Lornadahl: How would you describe your personal fashion style?

Asher: Very simple and comfortable. I usually wear sleeveless, plain and dark-colored t-shirts, shorts and leggings. But I am now transitioning into wearing dresses since I find it comfortable and more formal.

Lornadahl: Which celebrities serve as your style icons?

Asher: Actually, I don't have one since I am happy with the way I dress up.

Lornadahl: How hard is it to get clothes that fit you? Any particular body part that makes shopping extra challenging?

Asher: OMG! So hard! I rarely buy new clothes but when I see something that I like, I definitely go for it. However, I usually have a hard time fitting them in my bust, arms and legs. Ang ending, I can't buy it na since it doesn't fit me and it really feels frustrating 'coz I looked like suman .

Lornadahl: That's sad. How about accessories? What's the best for tall women?

Asher: Hmmm...I think earrings. You can wear them without worrying that they won't fit your body. Also, it highlights your face especially when you tie up your hair.

Lornadahl: If you were to endorse a local clothing for big women, what would it be and why?

Asher: As I've said, I rarely buy new clothes so I don't usually have a local brand. But when it comes to sportswear, I recommend Decathlon since they have a variety of sizes that would fit me unlike our local brands.

Lornadahl: When you pick up a magazine or watch TV, do you see bodies that look like yours that aren't being desexualized, or used to signify laziness, ignorance or lack of self-control?

Asher: In magazines, NO! But now that social media is becoming a new platform for advertisements, YES! I am happy to see commercials and billboards that show plus size models! I really admire those companies that show the reality about our bodies especially women's.

Lornadahl: How do you deal with I'm-so-fat-and-ugly days?

Asher: I exercise or I eat ice cream! Either of the two, depending on my mood. Ha-Ha!

Lornadahl: Do you think a great number of Pinoy men appreciate big girls?

Asher: Not really. There may be some but most of them still like girls who have small waist, big boobs and butt. You can see it on social media. Men like and react more to sexy girls than big girls. 

Lornadahl: If you would appear on a billboard or magazine cover, how would you look like?

Asher: The way I am. No make-up, no accessories, wearing a nude color sando and shorts in a forest with waterfalls. Just like when Eve came to the world but not totally naked. Ha-Ha! Seriously, I just want to look natural, looking away.

Lornadahl: What's the secret behind your self-confidence and body acceptance?

Asher: My only secret is just to be happy the way I am. If you keep listening to the people around you, to lose weight or to refrain from overeating, you will end up being frustrated. It's YOUR BODY! You are the only one who has the right to decide what you want to do with it. So choose to be happy without listening to other people's opinions. 

Lornadahl: For most people, including myself, acceptance took a long while. Tell us how your journey went. Any defining moment, any influential person in your life that made it happen?

Asher: It took me 3 years before I fully accepted the new me. Not to brag, but I used to be one of those girls who were idolized during my teens. There were times that I was afraid to attend meet-ups or reunions 'coz I don't want to be the topic and end up getting embarrassed. I even stopped posting pictures on social media 'coz I was afraid that old friends will criticize me. 

My defining moment was when I went to Masasa Beach in Batangas with my friends and my mom. I used to wear bra and shorts whenever I go to the beach but I was really hesitant to wear the usual outfit that time. There were boys and they might compare me to my friends. My friends loved taking sexy pictures and, as #SquadGoals, they want to pose along with them. But I wasn't really comfortable with it since I'm big. As expected, I kept hearing people's comments like I am a balyena and the likes. Then, my mom took off her rash guard and had her photos taken with me. So I told myself, "My mom can do it, so how can't I? I don't care anymore what other people will say. I'm here at the beach to have fun and I won't let their body-shaming comments get into me!" So there, that was the defining moment for me.

Lornadahl: How did you discover pranic healing? Was it part of your self-love or body acceptance journey?

Asher: I discovered pranic healing through my mom. She made me attend the courses which were very helpful for my whole being. Pranic healing is an energy school conducting meditation and healing. You're right, it's a big part of my self-love journey. I understand myself even more! I learned to forgive myself and to give more love to people who continue to criticize me. Also to be more kind to myself and other people. It made me realize that inner beauty is more important than being beautiful only on the outside. 

Lornadahl: True! I recall being drawn to you because you project this positive aura and you have this infectious smile! Sana all! So, what is beautiful about being big?

Asher: People can easily recognize you! Sometimes people mistook me as an expectant mom and they allow me skip the long queues. Haha! Kidding aside, I think I became prettier and sexier with the curves that I have right now. 

Lornadahl: How do you respond to the argument that obesity is unhealthy?

Asher: Actually, this may vary to different people. There are people who have underlying medical conditions which is why they can't lose weight. There are some who have eating disorders who can't control themselves. And there are people who have genetically obtained their body types. Some people may be skinny but has more medical problems than those with bigger bodies. I'm just saying that we have no right to judge other people without knowing their story. Yes, obesity is unhealthy but we must consider some factors before we blame them for being obese or unhealthy.

Lornadahl: Do you worry that, when you talk about feeling of sexual attraction, people are repelled or disgusted by the size of your body/

Asher: Yes, it's so humiliating! Some even tease you of who can possibly endure the sight of your body!

Lornadahl: How do you feel if people stare at you? yell degrading stuff at you? Do you ever experience that?

Asher: I'm not really comfortable when people stare at me even during my skinny days, how much more now. I experienced people say degrading stuff, this is common in public transportation. Especially in jeepney drivers who force you to move so they can squeeze in more passengers.

Lornadahl: Do you ever confront people? What happens when you do?

Asher: Rarely. It's okay for close friends to tease me. If random people, it's not okay. Some apologized to me and let them feel sorry for what they have done. But I let it go when I feel that it was a sincere apology.

Lornadahl: What do fat people want to be called?

Asher: The way they prefer to be called. We should ask. In my case, I want to be called by my name.

Lornadahl: Does a big woman's self-appreciation and self-love root from the culture/environment she's accustomed to? What can you say about Filipinas and their self-appreciation?

Asher : Somehow. Even if you have a strong belief in yourself, there are times when you will feel down because of the negative comments you hear from other people, including your relatives.

To Filipinas out there, build your confidence. We cannot expect from other people that they will boost ours. Sometimes it's our fellow Filipinos who drag us down. Crab mentality is still an ongoing issue. So, be your own happiness.

Lornadahl: Some big girls are unaware that they're beautiful and sexy. What would you tell them?

Asher: Start finding your inner beauty. Being kind to yourself is the first step. Appreciate the small things about you. Keep on reminding yourself everyday that you are beautiful. What you perceive in yourself is what others will perceive in you. Stay positive and believe in yourself!

.

We've Got (Fe)Male! - Post-Breakup Thoughts from Jona

I had received a heartwarming email earlier today and I'd like to share her story of strength in hopes that it would uplift you the same way it made me feel. With her permission, of course. 

Woman With a Book 1987 

by Fernando Botero 

***

Dear Lorna,

I want to share my story with you.

For the past years, I have been in a relationship where I conceal my real self to please my boyfriend. Being myself is not allowed, strict rules are implemented, and my opinions are not acknowledged.

He is 10 years older than me, and this gave him an impression that I cannot decide for myself. When we’re on a date, I have no power to choose what to eat nor what to wear. I am fat and he wanted me to be just like him so he can finally show his family how fit his girlfriend is. He never asked what I want or what I need; he just assumed his decisions would benefit me. Although I knew things between us are unusual, I never complained; after all, he is “older” than me. He knows what’s best for me. I felt inferior when I am with him but I can’t let go the relationship. Why? Because I love him and I was convinced that it’s all that matters.

Mujer Llorando

by Fernando Botero

4 years after, I met you, Lorna. You believe in yourself and you show self-love. That’s when I realized that I am not treated fairly, so I ended the relationship even when it hurts and even if it were still painful.

My life as a plus size Pinay is not all roses and cherries, especially in a society like ours where being curvy is not the norm. Meeting someone like you made me realize the importance of self acceptance. As an old saying goes, you must learn to love yourself first before you truly learn to love someone.

Thank you, Lorna. You are a blessing to me. I admire you for your courage to stand up and show the world that we are not less than valuable. You taught me to take care of myself, to love my body and see the beauty in me. Thank you for making me realize that I am still worthy of love and respect, for showing me that no matter what size and shape we are in, we still deserve to love and be loved. I hope you continue to inspire more people through your advocacy. God bless you and more power to your blog!

Love,

"Jona"

POETRY: What She Wants

Photo lifted here.

WHAT SHE WANTS

CB FOLLETT

Inside
is the little girl
from not that long ago.

What does she want?
She wants what she always wanted:
to be taken seriously.

Outside there’s a woman round
as an over-ripe plum. People point,
their voices cruel, jesting.

What does she want?
What she’s always wanted:
to be taken seriously.

Real-Life Goddess - Jo-anne Domingo

In Anthropology 285 class, we discussed various standards of beauty among different cultures. We shook our heads at how lotus feet made ancient Chinese women radiant, ready for marriage, dependent on their spouses and possess tightened vaginal muscles for their husbands' pleasure. My heart still cries over the African girls who had neck braces and/or female genitalia mutilation at such a young age for dowry. And there's lip plates being done in Africa and Brazil, among others. Back then, I often exchanged gasps and concerned looks with my usual seatmate, Jo-anne Domingo. We were, and still, grateful we never had to endure any of those excruciating pain. However, we are aware that, with our body size, we are also in the battlefield in terms of self-acceptance and worldwide standards of beauty. We never really tackled our personal journeys about it until now.

Graduate school girls

Lornadahl: How would you describe your personal fashion style?
Jo-anne: I’m more of a simple casual but chic style. Sometimes I want to dress up if I’m up to it.

Lornadahl: Which celebrities serve as your style icons?
Jo-anne: Actually, I really don’t follow celebrities’ fashion sense. For me, in order to get that look, you have to spend a lot!

Lornadahl: Who are those celebrities?
Jo-anne: The big women of Glee such as Amber Riley as Mercedes Jones and Ashley Fink as Lauren Zizes. And of course, Queen Latifah.

Glee fan!

Lornadahl: How would you describe the role of Mercedes Jones?
Jo-anne: To describe Amber Riley's character, Mercedes, she's got the talent, yet she's too hesitant to grab the limelight. Which is kind of my attitude sometimes. For that, I look up to her. I would give up the limelight for someone who's already a star. I'd rather be in the background than be up front, or maybe failing in the end.

Lornadahl: Tell me more! I might be the only person on earth who hasn't watched Glee. Pathetic, no?
Jo-anne: Well, she was represented as the Diva, who has the highest voice and can belt out anything. There was this one episode where she had the chance to join the Cheerios (cheerleading team) where Sue, their head, forces her to lose weight. In the end, she surpassed it, and even sang the song, "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera at their pep rally.

Men pursued her. One was with Puck, the womanizing bad boy in the group. She pursued her only because she's getting more popular than him, and he needs a way to get back in the limelight. Recently, there came Sam, the newbie-Justin Bieber-look-a-like who developed feelings for her after their prom and the finale.

Her relationships with other people involved her best friend, Kurt, the openly gay character in the group. Their relationship started as a crush, since Mercedes thought Kurt was straight. She even was jealous of Rachel, whom she taught was Kurt's love, but unfortunately, it was Finn pala, who turned out later to be his half-brother, since their parents got married. When Kurt admitted to Mercedes that he was gay, their friendship started.

While her relationship with Rachel, the star, wasn't really good at the start. They were really fighting over who's supposed to get the limelight. Sue even attempted to make them fight at a sing-off, but eventually, they had fun, and were laughing and praising each other in the end. So far, those were the only close relationships she had with other people in the group.

Lornadahl: Do you find her character realistic or well-written? Would you want her written in other way?
Jo-anne: Yeah, I find her character realistic naman. Syempre she has to be the "good" guy, although, no one in the club has given any comment on how she looked. It's only Rachel who got all those pangungutya from her club members.

Lornadahl: How hard is it to get clothes that fit you? Any particular body part that makes shopping extra challenging?
Jo-anne: I really have problems fitting into some shirts. Sometimes, the L for women’s sizes don’t fit me. And of course the jeans. Sometimes I get the right waist size, but it doesn’t fit my thighs.

Lornadahl: Where do you usually buy your jeans, then?
Jo-anne: Usually in stores or tiangge, but it takes me a long time to find the size that fits me.

Lornadahl: What's the best fashion accessory for big women?
Jo-anne: I prefer nice long necklaces with pendants and big chandelier earrings. And maybe couple it up with bangles and big rings as well.

Look at that necklace! Bongga!


More necklaces!


Chandelier earrings while in the beach? Ikaw na!


Hippie headband, too? Gaya gaya!

Lornadahl: If you were to endorse a local clothing for big women, what would it be and why?
Jo-anne: Maybe it could be a store wherein there’s all the latest styles of clothing, in their big sizes. Stores are only limited in L or XL only, specially in formal dresses.

Lornadahl: Stores or boutiques such as?
Jo-anne: Mostly department stores and tiangges.

Lornadahl: When you pick up a magazine or watch T.V., do you see bodies that look like yours that aren’t being desexualized, or used to signify laziness, ignorance, or lack of self-control?
Jo-anne: Yes, of course. I’m actually happy nga that there are celebrities who are bigger than me and they managed to make it through the big screen with no qualms.

Lornadahl: How do you deal with I'm-so-fat-and/or-ugly days?
Jo-anne: Sometimes I wear big blouses that can hide my bulges.

Lornadahl: Do you think a great number of Pinoy men appreciate big girls?
Jo-anne: Sad to say, there are only a handful of Pinoy men who are into big girls. It’s a pity, really.

Lornadahl: If you were to appear on a billboard or magazine cover, how would you look like?
Jo-anne: Model of a clothing line for bigger sizes, with air blowing in my curly hair. Winner!

Lornadahl: What's the secret behind your self-confidence and body acceptance?
Jo-anne: There’s no secret really. I’ve just accepted who I am, and the people around me accepted me as well.

Lornadahl: For most people, including myself, acceptance took a long while. Tell us how your journey went. Any defining moment, any influential person in your life that made it happen?
Jo-anne: None actually, I'm still in the process of accepting myself. I'm not sure if I like what i see in the mirror.
Lornadahl: It's a journey, mare. I sometimes have self-loathing episodes, too. What matters is that we rise above it and face the world with a huge smile. And you always manage to do that!

Even Marc Nelson himself took notice!

Lornadahl: What is beautiful about being big?
Jo-anne: Well, I can say that being big can give you curves, and somewhat strength. In our house, would you believe that I can lift and change a 5-gallon water in our dispenser by myself?

Lornadahl: Photos or it didn't happen!
Jo-anne: Naku, nakakahiya! Basta kaya ko sya!
Lornadahl: I'm still not convinced!

Lornadahl: How do you respond to the argument that obesity is unhealthy?
Jo-anne: Technically speaking, yes, I sometimes agree to that, because if you eat healthy food all along, then you cannot be obese.

Lornadahl: And sometimes you disagree. Why?
Jo-anne: Yup, kasi my notion of being unhealthy for obese people are those who are too lazy to walk. I have big friends who are energetic. They move a lot and love to eat!

Lornadahl: Do big people stink? Are you super conscious of how you smell?
Jo-anne: Actually they do. Fortunately for me, even if I don’t put on any perfume or cologne, I’m happy to say that I don’t stink.

Lornadahl: Do you worry that when you talk about feeling of sexual attraction people are repelled or disgusted by the size of your body?
Jo-anne: Sometimes.

Lornadahl: So you keep your sexual fantasies and anything sex-related stuff to yourself? How sad.
Jo-anne: Yes, sad to say. I don't have anyone to share it with no!
Lornadahl: You can share 'em with me!

Lornadahl: Given a chance, would you join reality shows like "The Biggest Loser" or "Thintervention with Jackie Wagner"? Why or why not?
Jo-anne: Yes! it would be a life changing opportunity for me.

Lornadahl: Who's your bet among The Biggest Loser Pinoy Edition contestants? Why?
Jo-anne: Now that I'm watching it, my bet is Eboy! Cute nya kasi and he's the biggest. He needs all the help that he could get.
Lornadahl: Me, too! Read this entry.

Lornadahl: What do you say to people who say you’re addicted to food?
Jo-anne: I just shrug them off. Sometimes I tell them, “Kasi ako, may pambili. Ikaw, wala!” Panalo di ba?

Foooood!

Lornadahl: How do you feel if people stare at you? yell degrading stuff at you? Do you ever experience that?
Jo-anne: Actually I don’t hear them to my face. I know they say things behind my back. Luckily, I have friends who defend me from people like those.

Lornadahl: Do you ever confront people? What happens when you do?
Jo-anne: So far, I haven’t. But I know I should be. It’s just a matter of time, I think.

Lornadahl: What do fat people want to be called?
Jo-anne: Voluptuous and curvy!

Voluptuous and...pang-FHM! Woot!

Lornadahl: Does a big woman's self-appreciation and self-love root from the culture/environment she's accustomed to? What can you say about Filipinas and their self-appreciation?
Jo-anne: Yes, it contributes a lot. But if Pinays have their own self acceptance and appreciation, then, I applaud them. Only a few really embraces their own bodies, may it be plus size or fit. They are blinded on what “perfection” is as shown by the media, and they always make some modifications. Sadly, they can never be contented.

Lornadahl: You mentioned media. As the chief librarian for Summit Media, do you see any possibility that Cosmopolitan and their other magazines will follow the example of Vogue Italia's June issue that showcased plus size women on their cover?
Jo-anne: Yes, actually, nung August 2009, may article entitled, Cosmo Chicks Love their Bods were 6 women were brave enough to pose naked, and one of them is Coni Tejada, who is a full-figured woman and she loved every bit of it. Maybe this could be a start. Malay mo naman, di ba?

Lornadahl: Some big girls are unaware that they're beautiful and sexy. What would you tell them?
Jo-anne: Actually, I’m one of them. But for the sake of the others, I can tell them to embrace what God has given you, and don’t let anyone put you down. As Christina Aguilera’s song goes, “We are beautiful in every single way, yes, words can’t bring us down”.

But I really don’t give a damn on what others may think of me. I wear clothes that fit me, and I refuse to try hard. I wear make-up that is just right. But most of all, I bask in the compliments I get from friends of my friends telling me that I’m beautiful.

Who says big girls can't do short hair?

A Big Hand for Vogue Italia

Thanks to Vogue Italia, we, extra seksi women, now have a major milestone to look back on June 2011. What else could possibly bring tears of joy to our eyes and make us exchange fist bumps than such an esteemed magazine immortalize not one, not two - but THREE voluptuous women on their cover? The black-and-white spread may be a reminder of the rubenesque past, but, hey, this is one statement that declares the body acceptance revolution is no mere trend. I'm thrilled to see moooore sensual depiction of big women - confident and comfortable in their curves - in the future.

Exhibit A: Belle vere (Truly Beautiful Women): Tara Lynn, Robin Lawley and Candice Huffine.


Exhibit B: Curves here, there and everywhere!


Exhibit C: How To Rock Lingerie!

To see more photos, go visit Vogue Italia.

In this blog entry, the editor sounded prepared for any rebuttals and disapprovals. She stated:

We've always been criticised because we publish pictures of super-skinny women only, so this time I'd like to be criticised because there are very curvy women on the cover of the magazine. And I'd also like to underline that sensuality is not related to size, it's quite the opposite. And that beauty doesn't follow preconceived standards. Everyone should be happy with his or her own body, without paying attention to trends and to what aesthetic prejudices impose as a rule.

Here are more inspiring and contagiously hopeful messages from Candice Huffine regarding this cover shoot.

Special thanks to Oh La La Curves! for sharing this link.

Call me overly optimistic, but this representation made me feel as if the body acceptance revolution is on the roll. And my beloved Filipinas will follow suit. How and when? I may not have concrete answers to offer, but I just can't wipe this childlike smile in my face.

A Big Hand For Adele!

Guess who turned 23 yesterday? Now it's our turn to make her cry happy tears by singing ♫♪ Happy Birthday ♪♫♪ after making us confront our pent-up pain with her soulful songs like "Someone Like You", among others. Masochist or not, you can't possibly deny how incredibly amazing her voice sounds!

Nabbed from her Facebook fanpage.

On top of her songwriting, instrument-playing and singing gifts, she graces this world with unapologetic confidence and self-acceptance. In spite of the flood of insults and disapproval that most people felt licensed to express on YouTube and other virtual niches (see photos below), she remains undaunted and positive. How refreshing and inspiring!

Photos grabbed from here.

I admit such comments got into my nerves, prompting me to post pissed tweet after tweet. How come some people find those excess pounds distracting and forget the bottomless raw talent in front of them? And so what if she were big? What's the big deal?

Before I could forget to breathe in and breathe out, I found her statement on the recent issue of the Rolling Stone:

In the ♪♪Cover of the Rolling Stone ♪♫♪

"My life is full of drama and I won't have time to worry about something as petty as what I look like. I don't like going to the gym. I like eating fine foods and drinking nice wine. Even if I had a really good figure, I don't think I'd get my tits and ass out for no one.

"I love seeing Lady Gaga's boobs and bum. I love seeing Katy Perry's boobs and bum. Love it. But that's not what my music is about. I don't make music for eyes. I make music for ears."

Although I would have to argue that Adele has this to-die-for classic beauty and carefree, head-turning "shabby chic" fashion style, I laud the fact that she's one artist who refuse to invest in manufactured public image or show up scantily-clad in her music videos or live performances to gain attention. After all, she doesn't sell entertainment. She makes us all sit down, recollect an unbearable memory and, hopefully, do something about it. I call it therapy. How about you?

Lifted from Adele's Facebook fanpage.

Before I conclude this entry, I'm leaving you with what's been on repeat mode for weeks now, much to my youngest brother's chagrin. And...nobody leaves until this fat lady sings!

MUSIC MONDAY: Katy Perry - Firework

♫♪♪ You don't have to feel like a waste of space ♫♫♪
♪♫♫ You're original, cannot be replaced ♪♫♪
♪♪ If you only knew what the future holds ♪♫♫
♪♫♫ After a hurricane comes a rainbow ♪♫♪

What else could be more liberating than to see the big woman in this music video break free from her difficult past and take a plunge into the pool wearing her bikini and THAT lovely smile? Go check out 2:33 to 2:39 now!

As I have expressed here, the beach [or in this video's case, the pool] is big people's runway, too. If there's anyone who stands in the way, that would have to be the shadow of your self-loathing soul. Come on, let go. You have no idea how goooood it feels inside.

POETRY: In Praise of Large Women

Photo lifted here.
In Praise of Large Women
Helen May Padway

I love a large woman
with generous hips and size D cups
a female not afraid of dresses that cling
or shorts
tank tops that show
the upper arm jiggle
and pyramid thighs
connected to deep-dimple knees.
Not the timid trying to shrink
into a tent of anonymity
my affair is with a Juno who stands
in front of the mirror and enjoys her image
in patterns and colors big and bold.
She may corset and cosset
for special occasions—but in the bedroom
I imagine husband or lover
drowning in her pool of amplitude
nuzzling nipples and
covered by waves of loving flesh.

Real Life Goddess - Leslie Ann Canlas

When I think of Women's Day, I get reminded of Sushmita Sen's winning answer to the question, "What is the essence of being a woman?" She emphasized on a woman's ability to demonstrate care for others and share herself to the world. Although I do not dismiss it as a typical beauty queen response, I find it equally important for women to take care of themselves and address the issues that prevent us from loving ourselves fully.

I am so honored to introduce a great woman who takes pride in her full figure who incidentally happens to be a beauty queen! Let's give it up for Leslie Ann Canlas!

Leslie's glorious moment.

Lornadahl: Congratulations on winning Miss Bilbiling Mandaluyong 2011! Can you tell us something about this pageant? How many years na siyang ongoing? And how come we don't have that in Bacoor, Cavite?
Leslie: Thank you. Miss Bilbiling Mandaluyong is a beauty contest for plump women. If I’m not mistaken, had been around 25 years. Why don’t you have it in Bacoor? That I cannot answer. Hahaha!

Lornadahl: Wow, 25 years! That explains why it made it to the news. How will you promote health awareness among your constituents? And will you vie for the additional award [and hopefully cash prize] at the turn-over of your title next year?
Leslie: Honestly, I don’t have any idea yet as this is my first time. Hahaha. As far as I know, Kababaihang Kakaiba ng Mandaluyong (KKM) will create a program to promote health awareness which I will be part of. I am just not sure when it’ll be discussed to us. I’ll post it on Facebook once I learn how it works. Yes. It’s for free naman. So why not?

Ms. Bilbiling Mandaluyong 2011 and Ms. Mandaluyong 2011.

Lornadahl: How did the Question & Answer portion go? What was your winning answer? Did you ask for world peace, too?
Leslie: I can say that Q&A went well for me. Hahaha! It was sad that I forgot about world peace. Hmm...I guess I was too focused on what I can contribute to fight climate change – this was the question that helped me make it to the top 5.

But my favorite is the final question for the top 5: “Kung bibigyan ka ng pagkakataong makilala ang sarili mo noong sampung taong gulang ka pa lamang, ano ang sasabihin mo sa iyong sarili?”I answered “Ang sasabihin ko sa sarili ko… Ang ganda ganda ko! Why? Because it took me 7 years to accept and embrace how my body is shaped. Kung natanggap ko lang po sana ang katawan ko and na-convince ang sarili ko na maganda ako back when I was 10 years old, eh di sana mas mahaba pa po ang time na naging masaya ako. Thank you.”

Lornadahl: You know what, I agree with you. Life had been easier if we learn to accept our body earlier in life. And I’m sure your example can inspire the goddesses in rest out there to unleash their true selves. Anyway, how did you respond to the climate change question? We could really use a lot of reminders and proposed action plan.
Leslie: The question was “Ano ang maiaambag mo sa lumalalang suliranin ng climate change?” I answered “Ang pagtatanim ng puno and to encourage other people to do the same thing. Why? As we know, ang climate change ay sanhi ng global warming at nagkakaroon ng global warming because of too much carbon dioxide sa atmosphere and the only way to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen is to plant trees at isa pa ang oxygen ang nilalanghap natin para mabuhay. Thank you.”

Lornadahl: I notice you're into funky hairstyle. I want to experiment this year and chop my long curls for something reeeeally short. But it'd make my face look bigger and zits super obvious and I'm really a wash-and-go type of girl. What hairstyle would you recommend?
Leslie: I suggest you try first to cut it ‘not so short’ like inverted bob until you’d get the courage to cut it really really short. I used to have a long straight hair but I got bored with it so I worked hard to change it up. Hahaha.

Leslie in long hair. Photo by Simoun Andres.

From long straight hair, I had a medium layered hairstyle then when I realized that I look better with a short hair, I had it cut every 2 weeks until I got my hair this short. Also, coloring or highlighting your hair is one way you can enhance your personal traits within this hairstyle.

Modelling for Ricky Reyes as seen in Love ni Mister, Love ni Misis.

Lornadahl: Love your skin, too! What's your food for your skin?
Leslie: I just follow the golden “skin” rule. Hahaha! CTM – Cleaning, Toning and Moisturizing. And drink plenty of water everyday.

Lornadahl: How would you describe your personal fashion style?
Leslie: Hmm... Chic as this style defines a powerful confident look and sharp lines that seem to come together in an effortless way like Rihanna.

Unapologetically chic!

Lornadahl: Aside from Rihanna, which celebrities serve as your style icons?
Leslie: Mary Kate Olsen.

Lornadahl: What's the best fashion accessory for big women?
Leslie: Plus size women should go for chunky, larger, bold piece of jewelry as it will make a huge difference to look. This works for me.

Big earrings is love!

Lornadahl: How do you deal with I'm-so-fat-and/or-ugly days?
Leslie: A pair of sunglasses is the key to success. Hahaha! My motto is to skip makeup in my 'ugly days'—but never leave home without sunglasses for you to still look sexy and super-stylish.

Lornadahl: Sunglasses sure work! My nose is a major problem area, though. Wala masyadong pango-friendly na shades! Dream ko pa mandin mag-aviator sunglasses. What would you recommend for me to wear instead?
Leslie: Hindi ka naman pango. But if you’re not really comfortable wearing sunglasses and don’t feel like wearing makeup, just make sure that your eyebrows are shaped as well as your eyelashes so that your eyes would look great even without a makeup. Lip balm is a must! So you’d have soft lips even without a lipstick.

Lornadahl: Would you agree that guys only chase after skinny women?
Leslie: NO! I must admit that men are initially attracted to a woman by her physical attributes but it's only after a man gets to know a woman that he will realize if he actually likes her on a deeper level. So don’t think that just because a guy doesn't fall for you right away, it doesn’t mean it can't happen eventually if you show your attractive qualities as a person.

Lornadahl: Are you modeling right now?
Leslie: Sometimes.

Lornadahl: That's nice! Have you done print ads or TV commercials?
Leslie: Haven’t done national ad campaign. But my photos were used by some photographers for their folios.

Photo by Ness Sarmiento III.


Photo by Zham Libunao.

Lornadahl: Nga pala, Artventures@Conspi do nude sketching in Conspiracy every Saturday. If you wanna pose for them, let me know. They're always on the lookout for new models.
Leslie: Nude talaga? Hahaha! Parang hindi pa ata ako ready dun. Gawin ko siguro yun pag preggy na ako.

Lornadahl: Diba? Parang kaya nga siya tinawag na privates eh. Haha! Pero may big women na who posed for them. Anyway, if you were to appear on a billboard or magazine cover, how would you look like?
Leslie: I want the cover or billboard to look FIERCE!

Lornadahl: When you say you want to appear fierce, do you mean not-so-feminine (as in flowing gowns) seductive or try-me-I’ll-kill-you androgynous?
Leslie: A little bit of androgynous but seductive. Confused? Hahaha! Just look at Naima Mora’s photos. There! That’s what I like!

Leslie likes lots of attitude!

Lornadahl: If you were to endorse a local clothing and lingerie brand for big women, what would it be and why?
Leslie: Plus Size section sa Landmark. I dunno the brand eh. Why? 'Coz it’s more affordable and stylish.

Lornadahl: I notice you're a beach bum, too. Where do you buy your swimwear? Or do you have them personalized?
Leslie: I usually buy my swimwear from Sassa (Landmark), Venus (Landmark) and Coco Cabana (SM). They got my size.

Lornadahl: Where are the top 3 best local beaches for big women to loosen up and don a bikini?
Leslie: Bolinao, Potipot and Bohol – not that crowded. I can relax, swim with my oh so fab 2 piece on. Just to share what I read from one of my friend’s blog, “Everybody is a bikini body, because no one should dictate which ones are allowed to wear one and which ones are not.”

Bo...linao!


Bo...hol!

Lornadahl: What's the secret behind your self-confidence and body acceptance?
Leslie: I get my confidence from my family and friends. They never fail to reassure me that I carry myself well. Thanks to them because they are so honest. When something does not look good on me, they tell me and when something looks good on me, they always give compliment. I owe my confidence and body acceptance to them as they made me feel comfortable with how my body is shaped.

Lornadahl: What is beautiful about being big? What is beautiful about being morena?
Leslie: Beautiful about being big and morena? One word: Everything!

Lornadahl: How do you respond to the argument that obesity is unhealthy?
Leslie: Regardless of your weight, if you don’t live a healthy life, it is still unhealthy.

Lornadahl: Is it true that big women have harder time to achieve orgasms?
Leslie: Hahahaha! Baka naman mabilis lang masyado ang partner nila. That’s all. Thank you!

Lornadahl: Given a chance, would you join reality shows like "The Biggest Loser" or "Thintervention with Jackie Warner"? Why or why not?
Leslie: Sure. If I don’t have work. So I would know how it feels like being in a reality show. Hahaha. That’s it.

Lornadahl: What do you say to people who say you’re addicted to food?
Leslie: Lahat ng sobra masama!

Lornadahl: How do you feel if people stare at you? Yell degrading stuff at you? Do you ever experience that?
Leslie: If they stare at me, I always think na they’re staring at me because they find me sexy. They won’t look at me to begin with if I don’t get their attention that only means kapansin-pansin ako. Harharhar! Love your own sabi nga. I sometimes hear some people calling me “Mataba” or ‘Dabiana”, deadma lang! I just think na it’s not about me, it’s about them. I want to believe that they just want to take out whatever issues they have on me and will be satisfied if they see me affected. I’m sorry! I won’t give that satisfaction to them. Hehehe!

Lornadahl: Do you believe that thin privilege happens?
Leslie: Some but not all of ‘em. I mean, there’s no need for that person to put it in writing when everyone knows na it’s really happening. I want to think that it’s her/his way to convince him or herself that being thin is better that any other body size. I have this feeling that the person who wrote that checklist was defeated by a plus size man/woman in a certain area that’s why he/she came up with that checklist to make bawi. I want to ask him/her “Is there nothing else to be proud about yourself other than your skinny frame?”

Lornadahl: Some of the enumerated thin privileges worked against me. Don’t you get tired of media depicting big people as super lazy and super takaw? I’ve had my share of random strangers handing me brochures promoting diet plans and appetite suppressants and the likes. And guys laugh out when I express my desire to learn pole dancing. They’re so mean!
Leslie: Nah. At the end of the day, I’m still the one dealing with myself; their opinions don’t matter to me. As long as I’m happy and feel good about myself, that’s what really matters. Your body should not define you as a person. Big just means big. That’s it!

Brochures ba kamo? Hahaha.. Yeah. Lalo sa Megamall, sa may Fitness First. Well, I just ignored the with matching irap. It’s my way of saying “Excuse me! I don’t need that! If ever mag-gi-gym ako, hindi dahil sa brochure na 'yan but because I’m already decided to do it. I can decide on my own. Thank you. “ (This is the bitchy side of me)

Anyway, about sa pole dancing, they are not mean, they're stupid because they don't know na buntis nga nakakapag-pole dancing, tayo pa kaya!

Need proof?

Lornadahl: Do you ever confront people? What happens when you do?
Leslie: Confront people? When they call me rude names? Yes, if I’m in the mood. Hahaha. I just look at them and say “Kahit ganito katawan ko hindi ko ipagpapalit ang mukha ko sayo!" Hahaha!

Lornadahl: What do fat people want to be called?
Leslie: Voluptuous or plump.

Lornadahl: I believe you've done plenty of domestic travels. Does a big woman's self-appreciation and self-love root from the culture/environment she's accustomed to? What can you say about Filipinas and their self-appreciation?
Leslie: Yes. As I have said, I get my self confidence from my family and friends, which I consider as part of environment I’m accustomed to, without them I will never feel comfortable about myself.

Lornadahl: Some big girls are unaware that they're beautiful and sexy. What would you tell them?
Leslie: Love yourself! Don’t let your body or physical attributes define the real beauty. It should come from within. Always feel good about yourself and the beauty will just show without any effort. Just aim for…an effortless beauty.

"I think the quality of sexiness comes from within. It is something that is in you or it isn't and it really doesn't have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips."

--Sophia Loren.

Lornadahl: That’s easy for you to quote Sophia Loren. You ‘re naturally gifted with breasts and all-day pout on your lips! Hahaha! Seriously, you’re very beautiful and I’m so honored you agreed to appear in my humble blog. What's next for Ms. Bilbiling Mandaluyong 2011? Bb. Pilipinas 2011, maybe?
Leslie: Wow. Thank you! How I wish. Hahaha. But given the chance, I want to be a plus size model. I am still searching online where I can audition for that here in the Philippines. I don’t think we have that here kasi unlike in the US, UK and Canada. They really have model search for plus size women. That’s my next goal.

The heavyweight winners.

***End of the Interview***