Real-Life Goddess - Apaul Tatlonghari-Bello

During that awkward stage called adolescence, we struggled to discover our own identity and experience self-acceptance and, most likely, started by looking for role models and/or friends to be associated with. Amidst the high school and college populace where almost everybody wants to stand out and/or leave a mark, I found inspiration from a particular schoolmate (sorry, fair-skinned best friends!) whose simple yet elegant example reminds me that beauty can be effortless. With her consistently delightful smiles and charming exterior, it was easy for me to consider Apaul Tatlonghari-Bello a girl crush way back in high school.

Lornadahl: We Pinays are bombarded with reminders that "white is right". Have you always been convinced that brown is beautiful?
Apaul: I am. I never wanted to be a mestiza. I am proud Pinay! I just love my own color. I realized that we are blessed to have this complexion. Whereas people in the West spend lots of time and money going to a tanning salon just to achieve this kind of complexion.

Where can I get THAT smile?

Lornadahl: Did you ever try whitening products, too? Any rants and raves to share?
Apaul:: Yes... but for a short period only. Since my mom and I back then shared the same things. Hmnm.. something to share? Could that be a yearning? The most practical way is just to accept your color/complexion. Instead of spending money in those whitening products, use it productively like sharing it with your family or the needy.

Lornadahl: I used to think that being morena is limited to black outfits. I hated how I looked in white, pink, yellow and orange. How about you? Any colors you find unflattering for our skin type
Apaul: Back then, I had the same issue. So instead stop dwelling on it! The perfect solution is to embrace it! Now I'm bold in using different colors and wearing various outfits. Would you believe that my favorite color is white?

Lornadahl: Can you tell us what is your fashion style?
Apaul: Usually, my wardrobe staples are refined and sophisticated. I want to look sexy without wearing ass-skimming or boob-flashing clothes. Something with laid back vibe and looks effortlessly cool.

Looking perfect in purple!


Apaul goes for the black-and-red combo I'm also fond of


All-black!

Lornadahl: Which celebrities serve as your fashion icons? Why?
Apaul: Locally, I like Angel Aquino and Pam Quiñones. For international, I love Alexa Chung. All of them are epitome of beauty and style! Undeniably gorgeous! They always wowed us with some beautifully pulled-together looks with a unique ability to stay ahead of the trends.

Lornadahl: Do you consider dark men sexy? Why or why not?
Apaul: Ofcourse! Dark men look HOT and APPEALING. Derek Ramsay is the perfect example. Indeed sizzling hot. But sexy is subjective. For me, sexy is a lot of things: guys with self-confidence, sense of humor, beautiful eyes, honesty, eloquence and presentable fashion sense.

Lornadahl: Do you think you are/were treated differently because you're morena?
Apaul: Now, differently in a nice way. Living in other country where majority of people are "white", you can easily draw attention. They just like it! They will find you pretty. However, I observed that when I joined a beauty contest way back in high school, usually the winner is a mestiza. And I wonder why the judges always find mestizas prettier than morenas.

Living in South Korea: Such a knock-out beauty vs. the pale Yoo-jin (from teleseries Winter Sonata)

Lornadahl: Do you think being morena is better when you're slim? Would it also work for plus-size women?
Apaul: Not really! In fact, plus-size women having this color can make you look slim. Being tan has an innate stigma of being sexy.

Lornadahl: I know you're a beach bum, too. Do you still go for sunbathing to become darker? Are you satisfied with your color already?
Apaul: I'm very much satisfied with my color. So I just enjoy the sun, whenever, wherever. I'm not afraid of getting dark.

Lovely white kaftan!

Lornadahl: Do you confront people when they call you names (ex. baluga, kirara, etc)
Apaul: I haven’t experienced this yet. If ever, I will just ignore them.

Lornadahl: How do dark people want to be called?
Apaul: F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!

Lornadahl: Do you also have a preferred skin tone for your romantic partner?
Apaul: Before I met my partner, I have a criteria for men. I wanted someone mysterious-looking, tall, brown-skinned and all. But now, it's changed! Regardless of the appearance, I love my partner. Loving him makes my life complete.

Who's the lucky dude, you ask?

Lornadahl: Do you still get insecure about your complexion? get intimidated when surrounded by mestizas?
Apaul: No. Never!

Lornadahl: What's your secret for that even skin tone? I'm envious!
Apaul: Honestly, there's no secret. I do body scrub 3 times a week with an ordinary bath soap and body lotion everyday.

Lornadahl: How do you deal with I'm-so-fugly/dark days?
Apaul: There are really those days! When that thing strikes, I just focus on my strengths.

Lornadahl: There are so many morenas out there who still battle with skin acceptance. What would you tell them?
Apaul: POSITIVE SELF AFFIRMATIONS, DAILY! At first, it'll feel like you're lying to yourself! I know it sounds crazy, but it works, I'm telling you from experience to be comfortable with who you are and how you look. What matters is that you are beautiful and you deserve to feel that and be happy with yourself! No need to be imprisoned by insecurity.

Who else will tell you how beautiful you are? Say it now and make it a daily habit!

All photos are from Apaul's Facebook page.

***End of Interview***

Love the Morena Skin You're In!

It is depressing that it took a white guy like Paul Morrow to diligently research on our ancient writing system and even dedicate this website for it. It is equally sad to watch videos of foreigners who teach Filipinos and other nationalities alike the complex Filipino Martial Arts. And, just like what Filipino-Canadian entertainer Mikey Bustos recounted in the video below, a number of Caucasians actually spend a fortune to look bronzed.

So why is it damn hard for us to love the skin we're in? Why does it have to take foreigners to appreciate our natural gifts?

Just like most of you, I grew up being told that white is right and brown is macho. It doesn't help either that my mother and grandmother take pride in their complexion and whatever better treatments they enjoy for such. My father, on the other hand, calls foreign seas as his home most of the time. His stage father moments involved cheering me on for my dramatic monologues and other performances. Anything but beauty contests - official or mere role-plays.

But the most damaging for any 7-year-old kid to hear was:

"Di ka kagandahan, di ka maputi, di ka payat at wala ka ring alam sa gawaing bahay. Iwasan mo na lang magka-peklat para makapag-asawa ka pa balang-araw".
[You're hardly beautiful, skinny, fair-skinned and domesticated. You might as well avoid getting skin blemishes so you'd get hitched someday,"]

That statement robbed me of a child's zest for misadventures. I never got curious about riding a bike; all I could imagine was falling from it and getting bruised. I never donned neon prints either as I imagine I would be the laughingstock in class. I even had episodes of allergies for trying various skin whitening products. Evidently, I spent the rest of my salad days in bondage and negativity. I felt sure that better days will never come to pass. For being unattached at 28, I may be proving my grandmother right.

I can't stand my appearance in all angles. There was no way I can deny my pango nose, the dark contours of my lips, my dark skin and everything else that goes with my Pinay identity.

But this self-loathing magically ended one fateful day way back in 2005. I can't pin down what exactly made me realize that brown is beautiful, but I felt it during one of my earliest domestic travels, in exposure to carefree kolehiyalas in UP-Diliman and for other factors that I may be unable to identify at this point.

Now my skin grew darker than before. But I won't trade each beach bumming and sunbathing opportunities for anything. My closet? You'd have to put on your sunglasses before you unlock it. A wide array of bright colors awaits! My skin had earned too many battle scars for the past months, too. Again, I wouldn't ask for substitution during one of those heated badminton games with friends. Most importantly, I can't wait for new adventures to try and see how it will reflect on my skin.

It felt it was high time to step out of the dark and tell the world I'm a queen in my own right, too! Mabuhay ang mga morena!

All photos by Toni Cruz.